The Voice of My Troubled Heart
by dead marionette
Summary: He could no longer take the pain he feels in his heart. Knowing that no reward will come from his love, he chose to leave the king's side. This time, holding no delusions for his heart is already troubled and his dreams broken.
1. Tears of Broken Dreams

_**The Voice of My Troubled Heart - Memories Locked Away**_

_- Tears of Broken Dreams -_

_- I grow accustomed to despair and sorrow that are my constant companions, just like the lonely nights I've spent. Darkness is surrounding me as I fall even more into the hands of my broken heart. There is no way out, no shortcuts. Life is sink or swim, love is blinding. Something just have to give way, decisions must be made. Desperate, I craved, waiting for so long. But there is no love, I embraced nothing. Something just about to break, and I fear it is me. -  
_

* * *

In the gentle night, a solitary figure stood in the balcony of its room. An occasional breeze came and ruffled his gloriously golden locks. The balcony overlooked the magnificent garden below and he had always find peace within its flowery bushes. But tonight, he didn't feel like entering the garden. Sitting on the ledge with his back against the wall, he instead lifted his head. Luxurious golden locks fell forward, hiding most of his features, and without warning, twin silvery trails marked their way down his cheeks. His whole frame shook silently as he wrapped his arms around his knees. This was unlike him, who was always full of passion and spark.

As though remembering himself, he wiped away the tears with such vigour, it was as though he was disgusted of his tears. Wrapping his arms around his knees again, he watched the sky. His cheeks still glinted and glittered with wetness. And throughout the whole night, he stayed on the ledge.

* * *

No one had noticed how withdrawn he had gradually become. They had been too busy preparing. Sitting on the balcony's ledge, he watched them below. The maids busied themselves plucking the roses while the soldiers with the daily duties and a few extra chores. Everyone was as cheerful as ever. Everyone but him.

Much as he liked, he could not bring himself to feel as happy like the others. That was why he had locked himself up in his own room. In order not to spoil the joy that had been spreading. With a leg hanging over the balcony's ledge, he continued watching the maids merrily chatted as they worked. He watched how careful they cut the roses and mindful not to be pricked by the thorns. A shout came from nearby and he glanced towards its direction.

Not far from where the maids were, a group of soldiers were gathered around. Most held those so-called baseball mitts while others watched from the sidelines. And in the midst of them, a dark-haired boy swung the bat around before readied his stance. A frown came upon, marring his beautiful features.

Almost violently he swung his leg back to the ground and strode into the room. The curtains, having being pulled back, were thrown together in a rather violent manner.

* * *

To pass the time, he busied himself with his paints. Amazingly he was able to paint with only a sliver of light from a gap between the curtains. His brush swept across the canvas with an alarming speed while his brow was marred with a frown of concentration.

Once in a while he'd stop, only to continue on with his hazardous painting. Paints were everywhere and all around. And even on him. Finished canvases littered around while many more empty ones piled in one corner of the room.

His brushed swept across the canvas one final time before it stopped. With a sigh, the brush was pulled back from the canvas and placed down besides the paints on a nearby table. He was almost afraid to pull back the curtains as he stood. Afraid to see the finished canvas, for he knew what it would reveal. Like many of the others he had done. But nevertheless, with a small amount of courage, he threw back the curtains with a flourish.

Sunlight streamed in and glinted off the freshly painted canvas. He wasn't disappointed at all, for he had already knew what this last canvas would reveal.

* * *

People used to say reminiscing about the past was a good way to change oneself, and he couldn't help but reminiscence about his own past. Or more particularly, a past memory that got him isolated from the others. The outside world was now his only companions. The gentle breeze that ruffled his locks calmed his heart while the scenery soothed his soul. With his back against the wall, he was the perfect image of total peace.

_It was such a cruel way for him to know the truth. Someone had told him the whereabouts of the king and like an idiot, he went searching for him, even in the rain. He didn't have to search that long either. With the rain running down his body, he stood there, unable to move. Numbness must have caused his disability to move but it sure had not impaired his vision. But thankfully, the heavens had the decency to blur his vision. _

Thankfully, remembering it had not brought out a new fresh batch of tears, though it had brought sharp stabs to his heart as coldness seeped into his body.

_A few days later, he himself called off the engagement though not in the presence of the king. He had in fact only told his intentions. His brothers were surprised, especially Conrad. His mother, though, seemed to have figured out and had only accepted his decision with a small nod. _

Closing his eyes, he felt the gentle breeze upon his moon-kissed skin, allowing it to calm his nerves and his heart. For the inevitable tomorrow.

* * *

Usually he would strode into the breakfast room with such pride. But this time, he stopped short of the closed doors ahead. His eyes darkened as he looked away for a moment. A frown once again marred his features as he unconsciously bit the bottom of his lips. Closing his eyes, he let out his breath. Re-opening them, he looked at the doors, as though he was able to see through the wood. Somehow he was able to imagine the king seated with his brothers and Gunter around the breakfast table.

_I can do this._

With a resolved determination, he pushed open the doors. His entrance was like an immediate snuff to a lit candle. Whatever conversation that was around the table died. He could see the downcast glances his brothers were casting at the table while Gunter found his breakfast a tad more interesting. Only the king glanced up at him with a huge smile on his face.

"You're finally awake. What took you so long?" The king's ever cheerful voice unnerved him but he only remained silent. Taking his seat beside the king, he glanced up at the others. He let out a frown that caused Conrad to look away with a disturbed frown.

_Don't._

"For the past few days I haven't seen you around. Where have you been?" He didn't glance at the king, only took hold of his cup and drank.

"I've been busy." His answer was curt and simple, but the king seemed not to notice.

"Also, you haven't been sleeping in my room anymore. What gives?" Placing down his cup, he stood up. Every one stared up at him as he turned to leave. His hand reached out for the knob and swung the door open.

"Yuuri, is it all right with you if I were to leave your side once more for a couple of days?" He threw his words over his shoulder, without looking back, as he stood in the doorway. "There is something that I have to do."

"Al-all right, I guess. It's not like I'll need your protection. I mean, I do have Conrad here." A bitter smile appeared as he inwardly agreed. Truly indeed.

_What use do you have for me anyway?_

With the king's answer, he closed the door behind him with a firm click.

* * *

He locked himself in his room again. Feverishly working on another canvas, his brush furiously streaked across the canvas. So great was his concentration that he hadn't heard the knocks on the door.

"Lord Bielefeld. Lord Bielefeld." With a start he blinked, his brush paused in mid-air. Lifting his head, he glared at the door.

"What is it?" he barked, clearly not wanting to be disturbed. A pause came at the door.

"Everything is prepared, Lord Bielefeld." With a surprised sound, he could only stare at the door. Everything was happening too fast.

_Am I really going to go through with this?_

"Lord Bielefeld?" The sound of the door knob turning caught his attention and, with quick movements, left his canvas. Before the door could be fully open, he allowed only a gap.

"All right." Dismissing his soldier, he closed the door and leaned against it. Hanging his head, his golden locks slipped forward. Everything was really going too fast.

_And soon I'll only be just a fragment of your memory, Yuuri._

* * *

Like a shadow, he slipped past his door and made his way as quietly as he could towards the stable. Once there, he could make out several shadows and knew they were his men. One brought forward his white stallion to which he gratefully took hold of the reins. Another helped hoist him up the saddle before moving back to join the others. Like him, they were dressed in ordinary clothes as they mounted their own horses. Those in uniforms turned to unlock the gates as discreetly as they could.

"You didn't have to do this." He tried as best as he could to dissuade his men from following him. But they shook their heads, the very first time they were disobeying his order.

"Lord Weller requested us to join you, sir." By that simple answer, he knew that his brothers had known of his plan. Gritting his teeth, he glared up at the castle. Though in darkness, he could somewhat make out a silhouette near one of the windows and knew it was Weller. "Sir, the time would be right if we were to leave now." Hearing his subordinate, he ignored the silhouette and turned his horse towards the others who were already out of the gates. With a whip of the reins, his stallion went into a gallop.

_Goodbye, Yuuri._

* * *


	2. Uncertain Decision

**_The Voice of My Troubled Heart - Memories Locked Away_**

_- Uncertain Decision : Eight Years of Unrequited Dream -_**_  
_**

_- Forever I'll chase a broken dream, knowing I'll never grasp it firm within my hands. I know I can never return. No matter how much I cry out, no matter how much I yearn, no matter how much I evade, no matter how much I wish...no matter how much I hurt. I awaken from the dream and fall into the lap of reality, tears of broken dreams falling along with me. -  
_

_I believed in you, I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies. I won't stay long in this world so wrong. And as I dance with the devil, I say goodbye. -_

* * *

On a gentle red rose, a butterfly as beautiful as the flower rested upon its petals. The gentle wind came and went, the butterfly joining it on its journey. Sounds of gleeful child-like laughter filled the air as a small young boy ran after his older sister who playfully taunted him. Behind them, several adults strolled after them. The three of them stopped in their tracks and watched as the two children played. One of them smiled as he watched, his dark eyes twinkling with joy. The other smiled as well while the last, a stern-looking man, just looked on. 

"Your Majesty, I hate to leave you but -" Before the other could finished his sentence, the dark-haired man waved off his explanation.

"Don't worry about me. I'll still be here with the kids. You and Gwendal should go and see about your duties. Oh, if you see Gunter, tell him I'll be a little late for the history lessons." With a nod, the other two excused themselves. With a sigh, he sat upon the edge of the fountain and watched the children. A gentle smile played on his lips as he watched.

Eight years had passed on a whim. Though he still had many to learn about the country itself, he had grown to enjoy this place.

_Eight years passed. Damn you, Wolfram._

The smile left his lips. His eyes, though still staring at the children, were not watching them. Instead, he was remembering the day he first found out about Wolfram's disappearance. He remembered how the others tried their best not to tell him. In the end, it was Gwendal who caved in.

"_He's gone."_

"_Gone? What do you mean gone? He said he has something of importance to attend to. If by gone you'd meant that, then I've already knew about it. He said he'd only be gone for a couple of days, but now it's already been a week."_

"_Your Majesty-"_

"_He's not coming back. Not now, not ever. That is what I meant by gone."_

_He was surprised to hear the angered words that came from his trusted knight. Or the frustrated expression Conrad had. _

"_Your Majesty, what he meant is Wolfram's decided to leave and will never return here ever again."_

"_Bu-but why?"_

_He had tried to probe more from Conrad but his guardian kept mum._

"_You'll have to ask him yourself."_

Indeed eight years had passed and no sign of Wolfram around. It was as though the golden-haired knight had disappeared out of existence. With the disappearance of his ex-fiancé, many considered the engagement dissolved and urged him to find a bride. To which he did. He had married a female, only to have her run away with another just a year after their marriage.

"Papa! Papa!" Hearing his son's voice, he snapped back to reality just in time to catch his flying boy. But no matter what had happened in the past, he was happy with his present. And no one can take that away from him.

* * *

Gunter was droning about some piece of history again. With a bored sigh, he leaned into his hand and watched the window. Six years had passed and he was still learning about the history of Shin Makoku. But at least he was still better at ruling. The sound of swordplay caught his attention. Glancing down, he saw several of the blue-uniformed soldiers practising. With a sigh, he watched them, reminded of Wolfram once again. 

Though he would never consider Wolfram as his betrothed, he still considered the golden-haired boy his best friend. The only person he'd told his secrets to, aside from Conrad that is. In fact, Wolfram was the only one around who was close to his age even though the boy reminded him several times of his actual age. But that was in his past as well.

* * *

He glanced out of the window with a sudden thought, knowing he was searching for the Blood Pledge Castle once again. Living in a very remote village, he had made the choice of distancing himself from the life he once had. 

_Eight years._

A knock on the door caught his attention and, with a mental shake of his head, glanced at it just as it opened. His assistant, a young man with dark hair, appeared under the doorway with an aging woman. A smile broke his thoughtful expression as he gestured for the woman to enter.

* * *

With the last of his patients being escorted out, he glanced out of the window again. Once again, his habit kicked in. A habit that he had to change, just like what he did eight years ago. 

Eight years ago, no, even before that, he was once a spoilt and pampered prince who had everything that he could ask for. Brothers who would protect him at any cost, a mother whom he looked exactly liked and servants to do his every bidding.

_And now -_

Bittersweet smile appeared as he glanced around his small yet comfortable office. If he is what he was eight years ago, he wouldn't dream of being a healer. An exact opposite of what he was eight years ago.

"Sir?" A soft voice broke into his train of thoughts. Turning to the direction of the voice, he found his assistant gazing at him thoughtfully. With a tired sigh, he stood up.

"Let's go back, Daniel."

* * *

The gentle breeze ruffled his golden locks as he watched the others practised their swordplay. Even though they were no longer soldiers, his men still considered him their captain. Before, he had an army of more but now he was left with only four. No, he wasn't complaining. In fact, he was kind of relieved not to have that heavy responsibility of taking care of his troop any longer. He was quite content with what he had now. No longer were they his subordinates, only his friends. 

"Sir." The last of the four appeared beside him and he turned. The others stopped their practice and turned to him. Like every year, at this particular time, his men had concern written on their faces as they watched their comrade held out a particular white envelope. They continued looking on, with growing concern, as a hand hesitantly crept out to receive the letter.

* * *

Moonlight streamed into his room, illuminating it dimly. Seated on the window's ledge, he glanced down at his hand. At the letter that had his name scrawled with a flourish. He knew it came from his brother. 

For seven years Conrad had faithfully written to him of every single event that had happened. His brother was the only person who knew his whereabouts, for he was the one who had arranged everything for him.

_Eight years. Yukio would be celebrating his eighth birthday pretty soon. _

He couldn't help but smile.

_Maybe I should get a present for the little tyke. _

Closing his eyes, he breathed in the nightly-scented air. He could hear the soft murmurs coming from the other side of the door but his mind was drifting. Drifting to his unrequited dream of ever being married. Having known for a long time that it'll never happen, he glanced down at the letter. He could've just tore open the letter and be done with it but he chose to unseal it rather gently.

_Dear Wolfram,_

_Everyone is doing fine, Mother is restless and has gone on her another trip around the world. Your men are doing excellently well. Greta is now thirteen, if you've counted, and is becoming more princess-like. Like my letters for the past seven years, everyone misses you. And especially Yukio._

_It amazes me that the little prince wanted to learn more about you rather than his own mother. And as you know, his birthday is approaching and his biggest wish is to meet you._

The letter was left, ignored, on the window's ledge. His eyes searched the sky and found the moon. With a gentle push of his hand, the window was left opened with the gentle wind flowing in. He leaned his head against the side of the window frame and watched the moon as the wind ruffled his hair.

_...his biggest wish is to meet you..._

* * *

He sighed as he gazed out of the window. With the children studying, there wasn't much for him to do. With a sound of frustrated boredom, he turned away from the window. He'd better find something to do from this boredom.

* * *

He wasn't all that surprised to find most of the young men at his doorstep. In fact, he'd anticipated this for it was yet another annual tradition of selecting new recruits for the castle. Usually, while he was still captain, he'd be one of the trainers along with his brothers. With a thoughtful gaze, he wondered if his brother was given leadership of his men. Now, being a healer, it was his duty to ensure the health state of all the young men. 

"It is that time of year again." He heard the wistfulness in his assistant's tone as they walked past the men and into the clinic.

"Yes, it is. Daniel, would you kindly bring in the first patient?"

"Yes, sir."

* * *

With the last of the men examined, he stood up. Given his daily routine, he'd pack up and return to the house he'd shared with the others. But not today. Not after what one of the men had spoken to him. 

_You're an excellent healer. You could be a royal healer at the castle. _

With a sigh, he turned away from his desk and sat upon on one of the beds provided. Feeling the softness of the mattress, he stared down at the ground, almost unseeing. He'd hate to admit it but a part of him had always wanted to return to the castle. But it was his decision to stay away. With a bitter smile, he glanced up.

"Ninety years of age and I'm still as immature as before." The words slipped past his lips like a caressed whisper. Lifting his head a little higher, several of the golden locks slipped forward. His eyes were shadowed by his hair as a mysterious smile played on his lips.

* * *

_**Just a note. The story might or might not have something to do with a devil/demon. Or you could say demoness. In any case, how'd you like the story so far? And I'm starting the quotes once again. Hope you like them.  
**_


	3. In Him I Saw You

_

* * *

_

**The Voice of My Troubled Heart - Memories Locked Away**

- In Him I Saw You -

More deeply than anyone else, I gave my heart to you. Even now, I continued gazing at you. The days I've spent with you were like a sweet dream, surreal and illusionary. I know I'm not the one reflected in your eyes but I'll continue to love you uncontrollably, even though I know my love will never reach you.

_Into the eternal transience of the time I cannot return to, I'll lock the painful memories of you and me.

* * *

_

Glancing out of the window, he saw the courtyard littered with lots of young hopeful men vying for a place in the royal army. Somehow unconsciously, he scanned the area. His eyes searched the many heads, trying to spot one with a particular shade of golden.

_Shibuya, what are you doing?_ With a groan, he turned away from the window. For the past three days, he'd been doing what he'd just did. Searching for his best friend amongst the many below. Hearing his son calling for him, he walked away from the window.

* * *

He could already see the castle from where he was, despite the distance. The sight almost took his breath away, for having not seen the castle for years. He took in the sights just as they reached the entrance. Thankfully no one recognized him or his comrades. Weaving his way around the others, he kept a watchful eye for his brothers or any familiar faces. Though he no longer looked like the old Wolfram, it doesn't hurt to be a little careful. His hair had grown out a little, the colour deeper than before while his face leaner and serious. In fact, he resembled even more of the great king, Shin-ou.

Being back in the castle, even though he was just in the courtyard, he couldn't help but smiled a little. The garden which was once his lone companion looked the same, with flowers, named after him and his brothers, blooming. Almost instantly, he glanced up and saw that familiar balcony where he once sat upon. He remembered the many nights he'd stay up, just sitting there.

A child's laughter caught his attention and he turned. Heart in his throat, he took in a sharp breath. A small young boy, an exact miniature replica of the king, watched over the balcony of a room just beside his. A young girl stood beside him, carefully holding the little boy. Her brown eyes and hair were more darker than he'd remembered.

_Greta, how you've grown._

As though being called, dark brown eyes slid towards him. He saw recognition dawning upon her and unable to control himself, he smiled. He watched her mouthed his name and he gave a simple nod. Tears were quick to fill her eyes and he shook his head upon noticing the way his adopted daughter leaned over the ledge.

_Don't, Greta._

Someone must have called her as he watched her looked over her shoulder. Almost immediately, he made himself hid in the midst of the crowd of men. He was definitely not prepared to return back.

* * *

Entering his son's room, he saw the children on the balcony. He saw how Greta watched over her brother and smiled. Walking towards them, he made himself known.

"What are you watching, Yukio?" He saw his daughter glancing over her shoulder and turning away in an instant. A slender hand crept up to her face. "What's wrong Greta?" His daughter shook her head as she wiped the tears away.

"Something was in my eye."

* * *

Breathing a little too harsh for his taste, he turned round a corner and leaned heavily against the wall. Thankfully no one was around as he hung his head. A hand crept up to his chest and felt the pounding of his heart. He willed himself not to spill any tears, even though he really felt like doing so. All this, just by the mere sight of the king. The pain and sorrow were returning, causing his heart to ache even more than before.

_Yuuri. Eight years hadn't been cruel to you._

A somewhat sad smile appeared as he lifted his head, already having a firm rein over his emotions. He was kind of proud to see the king looking even more like, well, a king. Gone was that wishful look that he'd always had. His dark hair was long as well, touching his nape. He looked even more like his other self. The naivete was gone from his more slender-looking eyes.

With a sigh, he pushed himself upright. Glancing around, his eyes were searching. Searching for a piece of memory that he'd kept locked in his heart.

* * *

_It's still here._

The ancient-looking house loomed over him. It was the very place that he was supposedly being kicked into by the king. The very place where he and the king was trapped with those Kumahachis. Entering the old house, he was careful of the rotting wooden floor. Just wandering around, he wondered if the Kumahachis returned every year. Stopping in his tracks, he glanced around the darkened room. Being back in the castle had brought back past memories he'd kept locked inside.

* * *

He'd noticed that the day was ending soon the moment he left the dark surroundings of the ancient house. Stopping just a few steps from the entrance, he gazed up at the orange-filled sky.

"Wolfram?" He heard his name being whispered and he turned to his side. A figure crept out from a distance, silhouetted by the bright orange sunlight.

"Greta?" His daughter let out a sound as she ran and gracefully propelled herself towards him. Thankfully he was quick with his movements and braced himself as he held the young girl in his arms.

"It's really is you! I thought I was just dreaming everything!" Making another sound, his daughter immersed her face into his shirt. A gentle smile appeared as he gazed down at her brown crown of hair. Sniffing sounds came softly from her while her shoulders shook gently.

"Greta?" Placing his hands on her trembling shoulders, he gently pushed her aside.

"Every-everyone thought you'd died. There wasn't a letter from you or news about you. Everyone really thought you've died!" Tilting his head slightly to his side, he gave an apologetic smile.

"Sorry Greta. I'm sorry to make you worry."

"Greta-neechan?" A small boy's voice came from behind his daughter and he glanced over her shoulder. Eyes widened with slight surprise, he found himself staring at the young prince. Yukio Shibuya. Greta turned around and smiled at the boy as she hastily wiped away the tears.

"Yukio, come here. There's someone I'd like you to meet." The boy came to stand before his sister as Greta knelt down before him. His hands dropped to his sides as he glanced down at the young prince. This was Yuuri's son. Dark eyes that looked so much like the king's glanced up and stared at his own green ones. A warm smile suddenly appeared on the boy's face. His daughter smiled as she glanced back. "Yukio, this is my other father. Wolfram von Bielefeld."

* * *

_Double black._ Unable to do anything else, he just stared at the young boy who held a rather admiring look in his dark eyes. _I see that the genes doesn't stray that far. _No, in fact the young prince was the exact replica of the king. Like his father, Yukio had that same wishfulness look in his face. That trusting appearance everyone was unable to look away from. Or that sweet smile that was beginning to appear.

In the background, he mildly heard his daughter introducing him to the boy and vice versa. Numbly he looked on as the boy walked towards him, head lifted to gaze upon him. "Wolfram-niichan." He felt tears rushing to spill when he heard his name being softly called out by the little boy. Helplessly he took in a sharp breath as he fell to his knees, arms moving to wrap around the little boy. He knew his grip on the boy was a little too tight but the young prince seemed not to mind.

Tearfully Greta watched with a smile, a hand lifting to wipe a stray tear. Shoulders trembling, he held on to the one thing that should have been his.

_Yuuri.

* * *

_


	4. In The End

_**

* * *

**_

_**The Voice of My Troubled Heart - Memories Locked Away**_

_- In The End -_

_To grasp what was already lost, my heart is pleading. You've never spoken the words that I want. Why can't you see that I'm always right in front of you? Just what is it about me that you can't give into? _

_There is no one to hold hands with, or protect me from the cold that dwells in me. I think of you night and day and I wonder, do you even feel the same?_

_Lovers walk past me, this winding road I walk alone. Someone told me you'd be there at the end of the tunnel. But you were never there. _

_

* * *

_

With each child on each hand, he couldn't stop smiling. Yukio was such a wonder, chattering ever so childish in a way to inform him of what had been happening around here. Greta smiled and nodded, adding bits and pieces in as well.

"Sir." He heard his friends calling him as he lifted his head to find the four of them running towards him. Stopping in his tracks, he awaited for them to reach him. One let out a breath of relief as they came to a stop. "We've thought the king had found you. Thank Shin-ou." He smiled as an assurance to his friends.

"Lord Bielefeld? Lord Bielefeld! It really is you!" Several voices came out of nowhere and soon, he found himself surrounded by his other soldiers. Though surprised that they were able to find him, he was pleased to see them again. He smiled and nodded as they talked, asking about his well-being, what he had been doing. Thankfully his friends steered them away, answering all of their former comrades' queries with vigour.

"Greta, I think it's time you return back to the castle. Yuuri would be worried, seeing that it's getting late." His daughter tried to protest but he gave a firm shook of his head. "Don't worry, I'll still be here. But don't tell anyone else, all right?"

With a smile, he watched them left the premise, waving as they turned. With them gone, his smile faltered and turned away. His former soldiers and his friends watched him before turning to one another. Soft murmurs emitted from that group of past comrades but he ignored them as he walked past them.

He knew he couldn't stay in the castle premises, for fear of being spotted. Maybe he had been a little too hasty on his decision of coming back.

_No. I have to believe. I've made the right decision. So what if he wouldn't love me. So what I may never have the one thing I want the most. I'll still be at his side again. At the very least. _

He sighed as he leaned against a wall, eyes seeing and unseeing at the same time. His golden locks slipped back as he lifted his head, eyes searching the sky. A presence caught his attention and he turned to find his former soldier and the others staring at him. "What is it?"

But only smiles and nods answered him.

* * *

_This is strange._ Curious, he stared at his children as they gobbled down their breakfast as fast as they could. "Slow down. You'll get choked eating like that. What's the rush?" Without looking at him, they shook their heads as they finished the last bite.

"We just want to get to our lessons as fast as we could." Greta smiled at him as she helped her brother out of the chair. With a nod to him, they sped out of the room. He sighed as he leaned his cheek on his hand, eyes still watching the opened doors.

"How could they have so much energy in the morning?" Conrad just smiled as he looked on while Gwendal stood up. "This is the fifth day they've been doing this. Don't tell me they've taken a liking to studying?"

"I believe they've been spending most of their time around the new recruits. I've heard they were quite fascinated with a group of them."

"Who is it?"

"Unfortunately, I wasn't able to find out who."

* * *

The antics of Yukio brought smiles to his face as he leaned into a hand, watching Greta and Yukio playing. Hearing the laughter warmed his insides and he lifted his head slightly to gaze at the bright clear sky.

"Wolfram-niichan! Play with us!" He heard the young boy called him and he looked down just in time to see Yukio running towards him. With a smile, he stood up just as the young prince took his hand, pulling him towards his daughter. Yes, definitely he wouldn't regret his decision.

* * *

Though he can't see Greta and Yukio, he could actually hear their laughter. And someone else's. Already he could faintly see Greta chasing after Yukio ahead. Another was with them, standing still as he watched. Unfortunately, the sun was glaring and he could only see the silhouette of the man.

"Papa!" His son's voice caught his attention and he smiled, waving. His son waved at him while his daughter turned towards the unknown man. As he quickened his steps, he saw the man waving at the children as he left.

_Who is that?_

"Papa!" His son gleefully called out again just as he reached them, his eyes were still trained at the direction the other man had left. Turning to his son, he lowered himself to the young prince's level.

"Yukio, who was that? Is that the new guy you've been with lately?" Dark eyes, similar to his, shot up to meet his sister's before turning back to his father. A secret smile appeared on his face.

"Uh-huh. Alex-niichan had some time after his training, so he'd been kind enough to play with us. Alex-niichan is really nice, Papa." He nodded to his son but he wasn't entirely listening to Yukio.

Something about this _Alex-niichan _seemed vaguely familiar.

* * *

With a giggle, his eyes scanned the area. Deciding no one was around, he left the comfort of his room and out towards the courtyard. With the camp in view, he ran past the many tents and towards a particular one at the back. Slipping past the tent flaps, his dark eyes zeroed in the only occupant with the intentions of giving him a little fright.

He must have made a sound, for his 'prey' turned and smiled. Warmth filled his little body as he stood beside the figure. Those emerald green eyes gleamed at him before Wolfram turned his attention to the task at hand.

"Yukio, don't you have lessons with Annissina?" He shook his head in reply, dark eyes watched the graceful movements over the sword.

"Preparing?" He nodded, an idea was already forming in his young mind. He could stop himself from smiling secretively, eyes still observing.

"Preparing for a visitation to Aunt Fluurin."

"Aunt Fluurin?" The young prince nodded.

"Her birthday is coming and everyone's been invited to attend her birthday ball." He couldn't wait to find his sister and inform her of his idea.

* * *

With his brother still brooding over the documents and Yuuri making preparations for their impending trip, he'd thought of returning back the camp, seeing as the recruits were away. And as he turned a corner of a pillar, he spied a small figure leaving the premise of a tent. He saw that it was the young prince, he moved to greet the young boy but something stopped him. His eyes widened slightly with shock, causing him to stop short.

Another stood near the entrance of the tent, his golden hair shining and gleaming. He watched him waving at the young boy, a gentle smile readied on his shockingly familiar face.

* * *

He watched Yukio ran back to the castle, lifting a hand to wave each time the boy turned to wave back. Seeing that Yukio had disappeared into the castle, he turned with the intentions of cleaning.

"Wolfram." A deep voice called out in a near-whisper. He stopped short, drew in a sharp intake of breath, eyes vividly panicking. With such slowness, he turned. "It really is you."

Thankfully, it wasn't him but only his brother. Letting out his breath soundly, he could only stand before the brown-haired knight.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming back? I've could have arrang-" But he shook his head, cutting his brother in mid-sentence.

"I didn't actually have any intentions of returning. Or maybe I really shouldn't have return but a hasty decision brought me here." A smile brightened his brother's face. "But I have no dire intentions to reveal myself to him. Not now, not ever."

"You of all people should know this castle is utterly too small and coincidences happen." Another shook of his golden head answered.

"Then I'll avoid him. I don't care how long it'll take me, I'll do it forever for all I care. What is broken cannot be mended again. What is lost cannot return."

"You've changed, Wolfram." That was all Conrad could say. A bitter smile appeared as he turned away, golden locks hiding his expression.

"For better or worse? For him or for myself? No-" he turned back to his brother. His eyes gleamed with unspoken emotions. "-a better question to ask, will he like me more now? Will he like me as I am now?"

He knew his brother. He knew Conrad would always find ways to defend him, no matter what. These questions had been burning in his heart, every single day he wondered. But no answer would ever come and the questions burned even more.

A hand gently touched his cheek, bring up his face to his smiling brother. Warmth encased around him, with him suddenly realizing his brother was embracing him. This brought memories flooding back. Not as painful of him and Yuuri, but painful nonetheless. Memories of a time he called Conrad his brother. He felt he was a young boy once again, with his brother protecting him. Taking care of him all the time. Now, it didn't matter to him if he was only half of a demon, because his brother was being, well, his brother.

* * *

**Now, Yuuri might just, by chance, meet Wolfram in the next chapter. But I can't really say how. Hehe. Let's wonder if he'll be damned pissed off, mildly surprised or throw himself at Wolfram. Will he let Wolfram back in his life or let that poor boy be on the side road forever..**


	5. Moonlight Coincidence

**_Here's the chapter I'm sure you guys were waiting for! A special treat for you all, its a really long chapter, longer than I used to upload! I was kind of torn to divide it into two chapters or make it into one since I've already promised you guys that the two would meet. This chapter doesn't have a special quote to it but not to worry, the next one's gonna have both Yuuri's and Wolfram's! _**

**_This chapter was truly and purely inspired by the songs of The Gazette, a visual kei band that I'm totally enamoured! Ever heard of them? Anyone have any idea how I can get their cds? In Singapore, it's hard to buy imported cds from Japan, especially those that are not so popular here.._**

**_  
Oh, before I forget! Thanks for reviewing and keep on reviewing and supporting this fic! I really really appreciate it!  
_**

**_- Inspired By: Taion, Cassis and Filth in the Beauty (The Gazette) - _**

* * *

**_- The Voice of My Troubled Heart -_**

_- Moonlight Coincidence -_

* * *

The wind felt refreshing against his sun-kissed skin, the smell of the ocean tingling. It had been such a long time since he'd gone travelling. 

"It's been such a long time since we've gone travelling, haven't we?" Conrad smiled as he nodded in reply. A thought came to mind and he looked around, searching. "Where are the kids?" A secret smile appeared on the brown-haired knight's face but it went unnoticed.

"I believe they're with Alex, Your Majesty."

* * *

With a distant smile, he gazed out at the ocean. Unaware of his surroundings, he continued to gaze. Being on the ship, it was bringing back memories. Memories of the times he helped eased Wolfram's suffering. Or the very first time he was on a ship with him. He remembered the many times Wolfram accused him of cheating when he did nothing of sorts. Well- 

_That wasn't entire true. _With a sigh, he leaned over the railings.

_A few weeks before his disappearance, he had always wondered about his golden-haired friend. He'd usually be hanging around him, blasting about their accidental engagement and such. But lately, the effeminate knight was never around. Many informed him of how worried they were of the golden prince. _

"_Lately he has not been eating well."_

"_He's been in his room the entire time, sir. Never allowed anyone to enter nor does he come out."_

_He should have been glad to have his room all to himself now, but something just wasn't right. True enough, he hadn't required to kick the boy out of his room. But every night he'll wake up with that intention in mind, only to realize later that there was no one to kick._

_He hated to admit but he was growing more worried about him. Especially that particular day when Wolfram requested for an absence of leave from his duties._

He hated to admit it, but-

_Maybe. Just maybe, I really do care about him._

* * *

"This is a mistake, I tell you. I shouldn't be here at all." Exasperation was in his tone and he let out a sigh almost tiredly. Greta and Yukio grinned at each other before pulling him to watch the scenery outside. His friends snickered but followed them behind. "I know what you are trying to do." If he could, he would have glared at his daughter and the young prince. "You're trying to get us to meet almost accidentally and coincidentally. Don't think I don't know what going on in that little brain of yours, Yukio." 

The young prince only smiled and grinned cheekily as he gave a slight pull. Upon reaching the starboard of the ship, his daughter let out a sigh before flinging her arms out. Cautiously, he held onto the railings while Yukio stood looking out beside him. "Isn't it just grand?"

True enough, the sight of the blue ocean and clear sky was heavenly beautiful. Fishes of shapes and sizes swam around the ship. With a smile, he gazed. He was no longer affected by the movement of the ship. Another one of the changes he'd made. He remembered the times he was ill. Or the time, Yuuri had tried to ease his suffering.

"Look!" Hearing the eagerness in the young prince's voice, he turned in accordance. "We're reaching soon. I can't wait to meet Aunt Fluurin." A smile appeared but his eyes were far and distant.

* * *

With just a few hours to spare before arriving at the port, he wandered around. He didn't want to be holed up in his room, so he decided to return back to the deck. Ahead, he noticed Conrad there. 

"Don't tell me. Greta and Yukio are with Alex again?" With turning, his guardian smiled and gave a small nod.

"They made a special request for Alex to join us in this journey, Your Majesty."

"Just what is so great about this guy anyways, Conrad?" Silence greeted him for a moment and he glanced up at the knight's profile. A faraway look appeared in those brown eyes of his before it disappeared in an instant.

"I heard he's great with a sword. Gentle and kind to the children. And he knows a thing or two about healing." A snort was given in reply.

"Maybe I should meet this Alex for myself." A secret smile chanced upon the brown-haired knight's lips but went unnoticed by the king.

"Maybe you should, Your Majesty."

* * *

The mansion was grand as ever, and even more so. Servants were busy with the preparations, the place was polished and cleaned. If he knew how to whistle, he'd have done at that moment. "Fluurin is really outdoing herself this time." 

"And why shouldn't she? It is her birthday." A deep voice made itself known as everyone turned in accordance. A smirk came to view as he watched the couple approached him.

"Be nice, Seth. This is the demon king, for heaven's sake. And didn't I tell you all this is too extravagant for my taste? All I want is a nice quiet private party." If he could, he would have laughed but he wouldn't want to be rude or anything. All he did was just smile as the tall dark haired man glanced down at the petite woman beside him. A tweak came upon his heart as he observed the fond look the man gazed down at his friend.

"Aunt Fluurin!" His son ran forward towards the woman who was already kneeling down to accept the young boy.

"Yukio! My, how you've grown. It wouldn't be too soon that you'll be just like your father. Maybe even more better-looking than him." Her words held a teasing tone inside and he gave a mock frown before shaking his head in resignation. "Greta, you're becoming more pretty each time I see you." Fluurin smiled as his daughter came towards her, a shy smile appearing as she curtsied.

"Seth, why don't you show Yuuri and the others to their rooms? While I have much catching up to do with these children." The woman spoke without turning to her husband, her eyes already noticing the glance Greta was giving to Yukio. "In any case, thanks for coming and make yourself at home."

* * *

He didn't mind the tedious work of a soldier, in fact, he was actually liked doing it. His former soldiers tried to dissuade him. 

"_Sir, this isn't something you should."_

"_Why don't you rest for a while, sir?"_

"_Really sir. I'll take it from here."_

But he shook his head at them, reminding them that he was the same as them. His friends, too, told them of how he had changed.

With the last of the baggages carried into the mansion, he straightened himself before glancing around him.

_So this is Fluurin's home. _

It was really grand with all the preparations done. With a sigh, he combed a hand through his golden locks before wiping the sweat from his brow. A sound caught his attention and he glanced up just in time to see a young woman entering the room. Recognizing her as Fluurin, he panicked a little before swiftly turned to escape.

"Wolfram?"

_Too late._

A hand tugged on his and he glanced down at Yukio. A child-like smile appeared, as though assuring him. Trusting the young prince, he turned around. He was mildly surprised that the woman didn't gasped in shock or anything like that.

"So it really is true. You're back." Her words didn't came out in a gush either, instead it felt as though she had known it all along.

"How did you k-"

"The children told me."

_That explained it._ He glanced down again at Yukio before glancing back up.

"You've really changed and I might say, for the better. If I weren't married, I'll grab you in an instant." He smiled and laughed slightly as the tension that he'd been feeling dissipated. His heart, though, was still racing but was gradually slowing down.

* * *

It was strange at first. But slowly everything just fell into place and he could not help but smiled at the irony of it all. Here he was, talking to the very same person whom he felt that had a very good chance of stealing Yuuri away from him. 

Irony or not, he still wondered how it was that he was able to tell her everything whereas he was unable to with his own brother.

_Perhaps it is with her, you found a connection. With her, it is easier to spill. You know she will never tell._

He sensed the sincerity within her as she listened, making him release everything he felt for the past eight years. Thankfully his daughter had the grace to pull her brother away from them, playing in a nearby area. In the end, Fluurin patted his hand rather sympathetically before arising from her seat.

He looked away from her, golden locks slipping forward as he slowly clenched and unclenched his hands. To strain himself, he had to bit his lips in an attempt not to allow tears flowing again. He might have told her everything but he still had the decency not to cry in front of her. He was, after all, a man. His heart was pounding, his every nerve tingling.

"Wolfram, if I may ask, why did you return to the castle?" He glanced up at her before looking away, averting his eyes from her knowing ones.

"My friends. I could see they were homesick and that's why I made the decision of retu-" She shook her head as she sat next to him again.

"No, you did not. If you really did wanted your friends to be happy, you would have allowed them to return without you. But you went with them. The truth is, you missed him."

"If I missed him, I would have returned years ago!" Again she shook her head.

"No, you wouldn't. That incident was still fresh in your head and you couldn't bear to see him without remembering it. Also, you stayed away because he married someone else, didn't you? Let the past go, Wolfram. Everything that has happened happened. For eight years, Yuuri had not re-marry. Neither had he even glance at another woman. He may not have loved but I can really see he really cared about you. And who knows that may turn into love someday. It takes time but your future is still a vast and unknown place." Smiling, she glanced up just as the children returned to their side. He turned as well, his eyes resting upon the young prince.

* * *

Everything was picturesque. Everything was perfect. The chandeliers glittered and gleamed, giving that perfect atmosphere. He smiled at his friend and her husband, watched how perfect they were together. A presence at his side caught his attention and he glanced slightly. A young woman shyly curtsied at him and he nodded back in respect. He already knew what she wanted but he was not in the mood for it. Giving her an apologetic smile, he straightened himself. 

"Sorry but it is kind of getting late. I have to go and find my son." His emphasis on his son had the woman widened her eyes slightly before she gave another bow. If he wasn't feeling rather down at the moment, he would have chuckled at how fast the woman walked away from him. Escaping from the ballroom, he wandered into an empty balcony.

Placing his hands on the railings, he gazed upon the moon. With the breeze gently brushing against his skin, he closed his eyes and breathed in the nightly scent. Re-opening his eyes, he turned around. A flash of blue swept past in front of him, disappearing behind a pillar.

"Wolfram?"

* * *

He glanced up at the moon, a hand gently touched the side of a tree. A gentle breeze came and ruffled his hair, making the locks shimmer and gleamed under the moonlight. Averting his deep emerald eyes from the moon, he watched the castle and knew that Fluurin's birthday party was well on the way. 

With a sigh, he glanced down at himself. He was wearing his old uniform again, though a slight alteration had been made to it. Upon returning to his quarters, he found it atop his bed. There wasn't a note to it but he had an idea who placed it there.

With another sigh emitted from his lips, he let go of the tree and made his way towards the castle.

* * *

With a tip of his tongue sticking out, he concentrated on the piece of paper before him. His hand vigorously stretched across the paper, trying to remember every detail of the portrait he once saw at home. His sister had shown it to him upon discovering the room next to his. When he was young, he had always wondered why that particular room was always locked. 

_Once, he had asked his father about it but even Yuuri did not have the key. He remembered seeing the faraway look his father had before the king abruptly turned away, bringing him far from the room. But it appeared that his sister was the one who had the key all along. _

_When the door was unlocked, they ventured inside the dark room. Greta walked up to drawn curtains, and with a flourish, flung them apart. He was somewhat surprised to find millions of canvases thrown everywhere. Paints coloured the entire four walls, as though the former occupant had thrown them in anger. Several few of the portraits were indeed covered in paint thrown across them. Only a particular one was left covered in its easel. _

A sudden gust of wind came gushing in from the opened full-length windows. The paper drifted across the room, flowing in synchronization with the wind. Desperately, he tried to grab it but the paper was elusive before it landed gently atop a branch close to his balcony.

He leaned cautiously across the railings, a hand stretched out towards the paper. Without thinking, the young prince tiptoed and soon he was leaning a little too dangerous over the railings.

* * *

Wandering aimlessly around, he found himself outside in the courtyard. The scenery was ethereally beautiful under the moonlight and he nearly sighed out loud. 

_Was that really Wolfram I saw? But it couldn't be. Could it?_

These thoughts had been playing in his mind since he saw that flash of blue. A frown slowly marred his brow as he listlessly walked, hands tucked into the side pockets. With a sigh, he stopped in his tracks and tilted his head. Dark locks flowed against his cheeks and neck, resting softly against his nape. Turning around, he found himself staring back into the castle. His eyes lifted and he saw his son leaning over the railings, hands stretched out in an attempt to reach out for something.

A warning was at the tip of his tongue when Yukio's balance tilted. Anxiety rushed throughout his entire body. "Yukio!"

A silhouette ran past him and he once again saw the flash of blue. Only this time, he saw the entire person. Under the moonlight, golden locks shimmered and flowed as he ran towards the falling young prince. A booted foot stepped onto the fountain and he leaped up, hands stretching out to grab the young boy.

Yuuri could only stop and stare, his mind blankly registering what was happening. The sight of his son in his arms snapped him back and he ran up to them just as both hit the water below.

Yukio burst up, gasping for air, while he could only stare at the person next to the young prince. Both were dripping wet but he didn't care for their condition.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

* * *

**So was their meeting what you guys expected? Oh, ignore the character Seth, just some random name I need for Fluurin..hehe...all right, now onto Stubborn Souls!**


	6. Conflicting Feelings

_**Well then, the next chapter is here and I can only say one thing: I didn't really expected to write the ending that way, it was more of a shock when I finished writing it. But I'm leaving it as it was since, well, it's kind of a change for once. Again, this chapter was inspired by my ever-growing fanatic obsession, The Gazette. **_

_**Just wondering, do you think this fic can be said as too angst? Or just nice? Can't seem to break off from the depressing feelings after finishing writing/reading it to write for Stubborn Souls. But for your sake, I'll try..**_

**_Once again, thanks for the reviews! Sorry if I didn't reply any of your reviews, maybe I'll try to if I have the time. But really really grateful for those who've been reading and reviewing this fic!! Just carry on doing it and I'm sure I'll be able to create another new chapter soon!!_**

* * *

_**The Voice of My Troubled Heart - Memories Locked Away**_

_- Conflicting Feelings -  
_

_I cannot forget the sadness that I've felt. It has always been with me, gnawing at my very existence. I tried to deny the feelings but sometimes I was unable to. It'll seep out in silver tears, the darkness of it was enticingly welcoming. Once I've tried to escape this painful sadness but I wasn't able to. Thoughts of you would always flash through, reminding me of what should have been but never would be. And sometimes I wonder if fate was just mocking me.

* * *

_

Shivering in the cold wind, all he could do was stare at the king. His arms were still protectively around the young prince.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

It came out in a near-shout. A sound from Yukio brought his attention from the king and he glanced down. With his arms around the boy, he struggled to stand up before another pair of arms was thrust towards him. Glancing back at the king, he somewhat knew of the expression Yuuri would have. A mixture of worry and anger.

"Here, give him to me." Though it came out as a helpful suggestion, he could not help but feel there was an underlying tone.

_Stay away from my son._

Without a choice, he gave the boy to the king before stepping out himself. He glanced up, the moment his feet touched the ground, to find the king already halfway into the castle. There wasn't any invitation from king to dry off, nor was there any word of thanks. He took in a deep shivering breath before running his hand through the limp golden locks. Wrapping his arms around his body, he turned away with intentions of returning to his quarters.

_What was I thinking? I was so stupid to think otherwise._

It was a mistake to come for the party. He was wet and cold. Fingers tightly gripped the sleeves of the wet uniform as he glanced over his shoulders. He was all alone under the moonlight. Slowly he sat down at the fountain, shivering. He wondered if he was shivering from the cold or something else. Something he didn't want to think about anymore. His vision blurred slightly before he swept a hand past his eyes.

_Just like that time, eight years ago. _

He could feel the coldness seeping into his entire body, sending an even deeper chill down his spine. A gentle breeze came and, as though in concern, grazed his cheek. He turned away from the awkwardly comforting wind before he slowly stood up. Still hugging himself, he stole another backward glance before moving off.

The piece of paper floated down, touching the surface of the water before sinking into a sea of blue, yellow and black.

* * *

Hurried hands tore open the lapels of his son's shirt, followed by the buttons of the pants. With quick movements, he towelled his son before moving to get another pair of dry clothes. Throughout all this flurry of movements, Yukio watched his father with reddened eyes.

He wondered what he should tell his father about Wolfram-niichan. Should he tell the king that he knew of Wolfram-niichan? Or should he tell him about Wolfram-niichan being _Alex-niichan?_

His father returned to his side once again, this time with intentions of clothing the boy in dry clothes. Once that was done, Yuuri checked his son's forehead. So far, so good. With a relieved smile, he glanced down again at his son's watchful gaze. A hand neatly brushed through the damp locks.

"Come on, time for bed. It's getting late." Unusually, his son only nodded and did as he was told without a fuss. But he made no mention of it as he only tucked the boy in. With a gentle kiss on the boy's cheek, he hurriedly moved to leave the room. With the door softly shut behind him, he let out a relieved sigh as he hung his head.

_What was Wolfram doing here?_

With that sudden thought, a frown marred his features. He knew he should be grateful to his former friend for saving his son, thus getting wet in the end. His head shot up with a start and he turned in a rush. Booted feet hurriedly swept the distance back to the fountain. His eyes scanned the area haphazardly but there was no sign of the golden-haired knight. His fingers dug into the soft texture of the towel as his eyes did another search.

A frustrated sound escaped him, his eyes frowning unknowingly. He lost his friend yet again.

* * *

_He didn't care. He didn't give a damn. He didn't give a single dime about-_

With a tired sigh, he held out his hands towards the inviting warmth of the fireplace. A huge fluffy bathrobe covered his entire frame, his head covered by yet another warm towel. Flexing his fingers, he lifted them towards the towel on his head. In slow movements, his damp locks slowly dried before he removed the cloth. A hand tiredly ran through the drying locks, untangling any knots there.

The sound of the door opening caught his attention and he glanced at his side. Silently he watched Conrad closing the door with a firm click before walking towards him. A cup of sorts was held out to him and he thankfully took it, his fingers curling around the hot surface of the drink. He took a tentative sip before taking another. The warmth enticing spread throughout his entire slim frame before he let out a sigh.

"Are you going to tell me how did you get wet?" Another sigh came. "Well?"

"I...well...I kind of felt like taking a dip." Sheepishly he glanced up to his brother who was seated a few distance away from him.

"In your uniform? Try again."

"Just leave it at that, will you?" It came in a soft mutter, his eyes glancing down at the mug. He didn't feel like talking. About how he was rejected once again. Even after eight years, he still wasn't good enough. Not even after he saved his son.

"Ungrateful little -"

He just hoped the young prince didn't developed a fever after his swim.

* * *

With a word of thanks, he gave his brother a small smile.

"Are you sure you wouldn't want to stay for the night? It is getting late and you could get a risk of the others spotting you." But he shook his head.

"I'll take my chance. My friends must be worried sick about me. I'd better go. And thanks for the uniform." Conrad waved off his thanks.

"It's nothing. I only did a slight alteration to it, knowing how you'd turn out be." A chuckle escaped him and he nodded his thanks again.

"About the uniform, -"

"Once it's dry, I'll return it back to you whenever possible. In the meantime, don't hesitate to use mine. Thankfully, you've turned out to be the same size as me." The brown-haired knight gestured at the similar brown uniform he was wearing. With another small smile and a nod, he watched his brother regretfully nodded back before turning to walk off. As he turned a corner, he faintly heard the door closing before he let out a sigh and released the smile. He had wanted to take up the offer his brother was giving but his sensibility took hold of him. A hand slowly crept up to his heart, the fingers slowly flexing. He'll get through this heartache. Like he had done eight years straight.

* * *

Dejectedly he returned to his quarters. His fingers unconsciously rubbed against the soft texture of the towel. There was just so many questions he'd wanted to ask of Wolfram. Where had he been, how he was holding up on his own, what he had been doing all this time. The more important question...

_Why the hell had you run away?_

He closed the door behind him and made his way towards the window, listlessly tossing the towel onto the bed. With his back against the window frame, he glanced up at the moon with hands folded in front of him. The frown had not fade from his face, his eyes full of questions. But no answers.

_Why did you go and leave me, Wolfram? All these years, I actually needed you but you weren't there. You weren't there to reprimand me. You disappeared without a word. I needed you to be there for me as always, to be the friend that I've always counted on. To tell me what I've been doing, was it right? Was it sensible? _

He lifted his head slight, his locks slipping forward. His lips formed a tight grim line before they opened. "I actually hated you."

* * *

_My mind is in a whirl. Memories of you keep returning back after eight years of forcefully locking them inside. I wish I knew what to do or how to handle this. A part of me wished for you to be with me again, but another part was angered by the crude way you left me. You left without saying a word, only in a pretense of settling some issues. I may not return those feelings but I still want you to be by my side. You're a friend that I can't do without._

* * *

_**Wow, I didn't really expected Yuuri to be saying that. Heeheehee. Let him be depressed for once, I actually felt sorry for Wolfram.**  
_


	7. Cruel Remembrance

_**This next little chapter actually made me cry. Anyway, thanks for the reviews once again. Hope you enjoy this heart-wrenching scene I've placed inside.  
**_

* * *

_**- The Voice of My Troubled Heart -**_

_- Cruel Remembrance -  
_

* * *

_I just don't know what to think anymore. Or feel for that matter. A part of me wishes for you to disappear forever, for leaving me. But another part, this small neglected one, wouldn't ask for more but only to have you here with me again. I know I can't reciprocate those feelings that you obviously have, but I do know I want my best friend with me again._

* * *

"Where the hell is he?" His words, in a very angry near shout, would have scared off most of the female population. But not his friend. Fluurin only blinked at him, she knew he was all bark and no bite.

"Who?" Batting an eyelid, she drawled out that single word while waving at Greta and Yukio. The two were already aboard the ship, while their father stood beside her. He was practically bristling with annoyance at his 'friend'.

"You know who!"

"No, I don't. And please, if you want something, don't talk in riddles." Letting out a frustrated sigh, he closed his eyes before re-opening them.

"I'm talking about Wolfram von Bielefeld, my supposedly fiancé who disappeared eight years ago. Now, I find him wandering around in your courtyard at night. So Shin-ou help me, someone tell me what is going on? Why is he here? Why now?"

Fluurin watched the children disappeared even deeper into the deck before turning to face the king.

"One, I didn't know Wolfram was here not until you told me." She knew it was a lie but didn't feel it was right to tell the king of it. "Two, when did he suddenly become this 'fiancé'? From what I can recall, you've always denied that." The king flustered but she gave him no chance to explain. "And three, even if I did know that Wolfram was here I wouldn't tell you. You want to know the whole story? Find Wolfram."

* * *

"Find Wolfram, she says. And where in Shin-ou's name am I going to find him? Heck, I don't even know where he disappeared to now." His mutterings couldn't be heard by anyone but himself. With his hands over the railings, he glared down at the dark blue water below.

"_You won't find him here. He'll most likely went back to the demon country. And if you find him, I sure hope he'll give you a black eye or two."_

Frustrated, he shoved his hands into the dark tresses as he hung his head.

_Eight years! Eight freaking long years and now, he waltzes back into my life! He should have stayed missing!_

* * *

Aimlessly he walked down the aisle of the deck, hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his uniform. Sunlight of the mid-day gleamed off of darkened golden locks. His eyes concentrated on the planks of the decks. Stopping just slightly, he lifted his head and glanced to his side, his body stayed still in that same position. With a sigh, he turned as he removed his hands from the pockets and hung them over the railings. He gazed at the vast ocean before him, an occasional sea breeze flirting with his hair.

One more day and they'll be back on demon country grounds again. A hand rose to where his heart was, feeling the calm beating. Not a pounding as the previous night but more of a soft thudding. His hand fisted the soft cloth into a bunch for a moment before relaxing his grip. Unable to control himself, his thoughts wandered back to eight years ago. Eight years, on that particular day when he felt he was made a fool. A fool for loving him.

* * *

_Sky was dark with heavy black clouds as he stood before the full length window, watching. Without warning, tiny drops of rain fell, creating a rather cool atmosphere around. With a sigh, he leaned onto his side against the window frame, hands folded before him. A hand slowly lifted, slightly grazing his uniform before resting upon his hand. The calm beats was really assuring before gradually accelerating. An image of the king appeared in his mind, a soft smile played on his tender lips. A slight flush appeared on his cheeks as he leaned his head against the frame. Golden locks gently slipped forward though they did nothing to hide his features. _

_Minutes turned to hours as he continued gazing out. With a sigh, he straightened himself before turning to leave. _

"_Any idea where His Majesty is?" his voice seemed soft and gentle as he queried a soldier passing by. The change in his voice must have caught the soldier by surprise, if there was any indication on the soldier's expression. _

"_I believe I saw him near the garden, sir." With a nod, he dismissed the soldier without a backward glance. "Sir, you might want to -"_

_But he was already gone from the soldier's sight. Each step he took seemed to thunder in steps with his heart, the pounding growing by the minute. Upon reaching the entrance to the garden, he couldn't care less for the weather. Golden locks darkened by the water, he lifted a hand in an attempt to increase his vision. There, he could already see the silhouette of the king leaning against a tree. Schooling his expression of his usual scowling self, he made his way towards the dark-haired king with intentions of bring the boy back inside. Inside where it was warm and safe. _

"_Yuu-" he started to call out though he was still quite far from the king. A streak of lightning appeared in the sky, illuminating the whole entire area. His steps faltered before stopping completely. His heart, previously pounding, now skipped a beat. His breathing faltered as well, his mouth slightly ajar with numbness. He wanted to shut his eyes with such ferocity but found himself unable to. His mind was racing as his hand fell to his side loosely. Every inch of his body, wet with the now ferocious rain, felt cold. But he knew it wasn't the cold from the rain. No, it was something else. _

_Though his body wouldn't function, his heart still does. It begged for some sort of shield for his now tearing eyes. He hadn't known he was crying, until he felt a shiver down his spine and he struggled to breathe. The voice of his heart, though only he could hear, was loud in his ears. _

_'Please, no more.'_

* * *

A drop of water fell onto the back of his hand, bringing him out of his thoughts. He glanced up at the strangely clear sky, wondering where the drop had come from. He blinked once and then once more. Couple more drops fell, and it was only then he realized where they came from.

He hadn't realize he was crying. Silently and gracefully, he used a couple of his fingers to wipe the darn drops away. Feeling the wetness on his fingers, he lifted his hand to gaze upon the glistening wetness. It had been the same on that day.

_Slowly he felt his vision being blurred and he realized the reason why. Shin-ou must have been taking pity on him, for his tears and the rain were gracefully preventing him from watching even further. He made no movement to wipe the tears, in fact, he felt no reason to. _

_True, Yuuri was right there. His posture was that of a relaxed man, his arms around another slender form. His dark head was tipped low, towards the other. Before the great king took pity on him, he had already seen the way his supposedly fiancé was holding onto the other person. _

_'Run. Run as far as you can.' That same voice that pleaded for him returned once again. And once he gained control of his body, he paid heed to it. In the beginning, all he could do was took a few steps back. Then, without a doubt in mind about what he'd seen, he swiftly turned and ran. _

_If he wasn't feeling what he was feeling at that moment, he'd scoffed at himself. The great Wolfram running. But that was he did. He ran, all the way back into the castle. Not caring if anyone seen him did that. But thankfully, no one was around. He didn't care where he went as long as it was far from the king. So he went to that one place he knew he was entirely safe. His own neglected room._

He wished he could burn that image away as though it was just a photo. But alas, that image was already imprinted inside him and it would take many more years for it to fully disappear.

The image of the king's lovestruck expression as he kissed that other person.

* * *

_Seeing you again invoke feelings I wished I've never had in the beginning. You turned away from me once again, and this time, I knew I could never ever have you. I wished I could return to the days I've never met you, but fate is really cruel. It made me remember memories I do not wish to relive. It made me think of what could be but would definitely never happen. _

_I wish. I truly wish, I could tear this heart of mine._

* * *

_**Just had to ask. How was it?**  
_


	8. In Full View, In Full Shock

_**I've actually thought of adding another chapter to this one as well, but I thought why have one when I can have two. Besides, I wanted to make two cliffhangers, though I wonder if you'd call this one a cliffhanger. **_

_**Anyway, here's the chapter I'm sure everyone was just waiting for. It's long overdue for like what? Three weeks? Also, some say that my previous chapter was way too short so I tried lengthening it up a bit. Hope it's to everyone's liking.**_

_**Lastly, many thanks to those reviews! Really appreciate it! Well then, enjoy this chapter!  
**_

* * *

_**- The Voice of My Troubled Heart -**_

_- In Full View, In Full Shock -  
_

* * *

_Life isn't all that cheerful. Happiness isn't always there for me. Feelings doesn't always have to be good. Rejections weren't always a good thing. Your rejections were always cold to me. You've always tried to tell me discreetly, but I already knew. It took me two years to finally have those rejections sink in. Another two to get my life back, change my ways and no longer be who I used to be. The last four years to finally push those memories away, to not let anyone enter my heart again, to devoid myself of any happiness in fear of wanting you back._

* * *

Upon reaching land, he talked to no one and no one felt the urge to interrupt him in his deep thoughts. His brooding had intensified, a frown constantly marred with concentration. His eyes were darkened with unheard thoughts while he held his son by the hand.

Even in the carriage, he sat with his arms folded before him, his head tilted to glance outside. His eyes stared out but wasn't entirely watching the scenery. He could hear the others chattering around him but he paid no attention to them. Occasionally he would pat his son as though in assurance, but to whom no one knew. A brown stallion appeared just outside his window, and for some reason, he knew it was Conrad.

"Are you all right, Your Majesty?" His deep voice interrupted his train of thoughts. He glanced up just as the knight's concerned face looked down on him. A smile played on his lips just as he brought his head forward slight, his dark locks slipping forward.

"I'm all right. Just a little tired." His guardian regretfully accepted his answer, though his chocolate eyes said otherwise. A few minutes of silence passed as he listened to his children chatting between themselves before he turned to the knight again. "Conrad, can I ask you something?"

"What is it, Yuuri?"

"What would you do if someone, a friend for example, returns back into your life without any explanation for his earlier absence? Would you let him in your life again?" He regretted his words the moment they escaped. "No. Don't answer that." With a wave of his hand, he tried brushing aside the ridiculous questions. The knight smiled before looking ahead. The smile was still there but his eyes were distant.

"Despite whatever the reason he might have, he chose to return. That would play a huge role in your decision to have him in your life again."

* * *

Days had passed since they arrived back on the demon country. Five eventful days, to be exact. Five days of avoiding the king. It seemed cowardly for him to do so but his body reacted just according. The sixth day he spent healing the others, another excuse to avoid the king in the training grounds.

The breeze flew past him, ruffling his dark golden hair as he folded his arms about his chest. A frown marred his features, an indication of him in deep thoughts. It was coming to a week since they arrived back, a week of him trying not to think of the king. As darkness gave way to the sun, his hands loosely fell to his sides as he turned away. But not before a pleading look appeared on his features as he gazed up at the rising sun.

_Please, no more._

* * *

With a sigh, he placed the document in his hand on the desk as he leaned into his hands. A couple of silence embraced him before the sound of the soldiers training caught his attention. Lifting his head, he did nothing but stare straight at nothing. The sounds outside pricked his attention again.

A frustrated sound emitted from his lips, he leaned back on his chair. A hand unconsciously fiddled with the blue necklace he received from Conrad years ago. The king was evidently troubled. Another couple of silence, and he shot out of his chair without warning. His stride was determined and distinctive.

* * *

He was determined. He was mysteriously sure. Sure that, for some reason, he'll be able to see his friend again. The only problem was he hadn't a clue where or when. But that didn't deterred him as he spent the entire morning and afternoon just roaming around. Conrad and the others, who happened to pass by the king, could only watch as their dark-haired king moved with such determination. The brown-haired knight only smiled as the boy walked past him before continuing on his way.

* * *

He let out a relieved breath as he watched the day ended. The sun dipped low, casting brilliant orange rays around. With the last soldier exiting the tent, he stood up and stretched. A hand brushed through his unruly golden locks before he glanced up. Leaving his equipments behind, he strode out. Minutes later, he found himself inside the castle and in front of his long forgotten room.

Glancing down at his fisted hand, he slowly retracted his fingers. The feel of the key bore deep into his palm, his eyes unable to glance away from the dull bronze key. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm his heart. His features arranged themselves as he stretched out his hand, the key reaching the keyhole. The sound of the key being turned seemed to echo in his heart and in his ears. Leaving the key, his hand travelled up to the grainy texture of the door. With a push of his hand, the door slowly opened.

* * *

Unwavering dark eyes gazed upon the dark grainy texture of the sturdy door.

_There's no way Wolfram would be here. It's been locked for years now. No one has the key, heck, even I don't have it. _

His gaze travelled down, widening slightly with mild shock. A key was etched in the keyhole, an obvious indication.

_Someone's inside._

His stare seemed to glue on the key, he was unable to tear his eyes away from it. He feared if he did so, then it'll disappear and it was nothing more than an illusion. His hand slowly lifted. His palm flushed against the sturdy door and, with a deep breath, pushed.

The door opened without any effort. A silhouette was what he saw just before the orange-tainted window, a canvas in its hands. It seemed oblivious to his presence, as though it hadn't heard the door open. The sound of his boot hitting the floor seemed to echo in the room just as he took a step in. With a sudden, the silhouette glanced towards him. The canvas that was in its hands dropped to the ground with a firm thud.

"Who's there?" he enquired as he took several steps towards the other person. No reply came, only the sound of breathing. "Conrad, is that you?" Though he called out his guardian's name, he knew it couldn't be the brown-haired knight. This person had a slight build, different from the more taller knight. If it couldn't be Conrad, then he surely wouldn't be Gwendal.

* * *

_Run, Don't let him find you out. _His heart pounded furiously, his breathing hitched slightly. Green eyes darted around the room, trying to find an escape. Silently he chided himself for staying too long in the room. He heard the king called his brothers' names as he took several steps even closer to him. He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. No more.

_I'll not run again. No more excuses._

With that thought, he turned to the curtains and pulled them together slightly. He heard a sharp intake of breath behind him and knew he'd revealed himself. With a bitter smile, he closed his eyes again as his hands held tightly to the curtains. Sharp pains stabbed his heart but he glanced back at the king.

"It's me."

* * *

His first thought was the great king Shin-ou himself was before him but the coloring was slightly off. Dark golden hair ruffled and was unruly as dark green eyes stared back at him. No one moved, only dark eyes stared at dark green ones. Nothing came to his mind, no, everything came to mind. Harsh words flooded his thinking, drowning out sensible reasoning.

_Where the hell have you been?! What are you doing back here?! Why did you come back?! Who needs you?!_

"You came back." His words came out in a whisper, noted how his former friend winced at those words before nodding slowly in return. The golden-haired soldier averted his eyes as he took several steps before him, mindfully careful of the canvases lying on the ground. And he stood before Wolfram, he saw how the golden-haired solder winced. Those green eyes were still averted from looking at him, it was as though he was fearful of the king. Closing his own dark eyes, he contemplated.

Long minutes passed by before he finally opened them again, to find the other man shyly sneaked glances at him. A smile appeared in full bloom, gentling his features. "Welcome back."

* * *

_He really amazes me. _

A definite shocked expression etched onto his features. All he could was just stare at the demon king, unsure of what to do or say. A minute passed and his features schooled into a similar expression, just like the king. "I'm sorry to cause you worry." Dark hair moved as the king shook his head.

"I'm just happy that you're back with us." Averting his eyes again, he bent to retrieve the fallen canvas. The only canvas left. It would seem someone had been in his room, clearing away his other portrait. Save this particular one. Fingers gripped tight at the edge of the portrait, he was careful to hide the image painted on it. Spying an easel, he walked past the king. Placing the canvas, he turned to gather long white cloth from the table before draping it over the portrait and easel. He turned to find the king watching him closely but he never commented. Cautiously he moved to block the king's view of the covered canvas. Though it was already covered, he was still mindful of not letting the king view it.

_In due time I might. When I feel strong enough to reveal. When my heart can handle the cruel rejections I've envisioned so many times. But for now-_

The king's attention diverted, as though he knew of Wolfram's thoughts. In silence, he watched the king's gaze travelled from one object to another. He'd forgotten that Yuuri had never step a foot into his room before. He observed how the dark gaze rested upon a small doll left abandoned on the side tabe, its back resting against the lamp, before those eyes widened with a thought. "Wolfram, there's something I have to tell-" He closed his own dark green eyes, dipping his chin slightly as though in a bow.

"I've already known about Yukio." A bitter smile played on his lips, and he wondered if the king knew of the sudden emotions swirling in his green eyes. Apparently not. "Congratulations Yuuri. I've met the young prince and I must say, he is quite the spitting image. You must be very proud of him."

The king slowly nodded, those slender dark eyes still watching his own. "Aren't you angry, Wolfram? Aren't you going to throw a tantrum like you always do? Aren't you going to berate me for marrying someone else other than you?"

He dipped his chin even lower, dark golden hair slipped forward. His bottom lip quivered for a moment before his teeth captured it. The emotions were riding up again. He feared he wouldn't be able to control them. He feared he'll burst in tears there and then. But he didn't.

"Our engagement was long void, Yuuri, so there really isn't any valid reason for me to be angry."

* * *

_You've changed, Wolfram._ That was his exact thought when he heard the knight's answer. He wanted to shout back to him. Anything to get the old Wolfram back. This new Wolfram was too gentle. Too darn forgiving.

_But I married! Isn't that a good enough reason for you to pummel me to the ground?! What happened to you, Wolfram?! Why won't you shout back?! Why are you so demure?!_

But all he could do was stare at his ex-fiancé.

* * *

_I wish I knew of your life during the eight years. I wish I knew of ways to make you happy. But I'm just a man. A man with flaws too many to count. I wish I could be the man you want me to be, the man who would love you in return. But I'm just a man. A man with flaws an ordinary man goes through. But in the end, we don't usually get what we wanted._

* * *

_**Hope the quotes are to your liking as well. Already has an idea on the next chapter!**  
_


	9. Trouble Brews

**_All right then, the chapter's up! Hope you guys love this one! To many who reviewed, thanks again! Enjoy!  
_**

* * *

_**- The Voice of My Troubled Heart -**_

_- Trouble Brews -  
_

* * *

_I fear that, with my return, my feelings would re-surface again. The insecurities that I've dealt with for the past eight years would show their ugly sides again. I could feel the icy wall I've built around my broken heart slowly crumbling. It was nice to have someone worrying about you, but it is too much for my heart to handle. Too many emotions re-surfacing again. Too many emotions to handle._

* * *

The silence was awkward, minutes passed without warning. What seemed to be ages but was only a couple of minutes, he glanced out of the window. "It's getting late. I'm sure the others would be looking for you." With another gentle smile, he glanced back at the king. 

Numbly the king nodded, though he seemed to be frowning over something. Wordlessly he walked past the dark-haired man and towards the door. A hand grabbed hold of his arm, stopping him in his tracks. A slightly surprised expression glanced back at the king.

"You'll not run away again, will you Wolfram?"

His eyes searched the king's dark ones before gracefully turning and removing the king's hand from his as well. He nodded as he let a smile played on his lips, to which the king seemed to be satisfied with. He moved aside, allowing the king to move before following from behind. With a firm click of the door, he turned the key before slipping it back into his pants pocket.

"It really is good to have you back Wolfram. I've really missed you."

With his side profile turned to the king, golden hair slipping forward, he gave a short nod and a smile that didn't exactly reach his eyes. He didn't trust himself to speak, didn't trust himself enough to lie just yet. The emotions were churning inside again. All because of that last sentence the king had innocently uttered. He knew it didn't mean anything to the king, it being only a gesture of friendship. But his traitorous mind had already conjured images he knew would never happen.

* * *

With his back against the bark of a tree, he felt the gentle breeze ruffling his dark hair. His eyes were trained on the knight training before him. A gentle smile played on his lips as he continued to watch. With his hands buried deep into the pockets of his pants, he was the very image of peace. It had been a couple of days now since that fateful day. The day he found Wolfram again. Breathing in deeply, he finally allowed himself to glance away. 

Two days had passed. Two days of nothing more than just being with Wolfram. Their roles were reversed, he was now doing all the following. He was now questioning Wolfram of his whereabouts, his well-being and of his days. He just didn't want to lose his best friend ever again, and that meant keeping a close eye on the golden-haired knight. He remembered the first day after he found Wolfram in his old room. How he had kept his schedule for the entire day free, just so he could be around Wolfram.

The others still hadn't known Wolfram was among them, he didn't have the heart to reveal this precious secret that he intended to keep until the time was perfectly right. With his head leaning against the tree bark, he glanced at his companion. Dark golden hair gleamed under the sun, dark green eyes deepened with serious concentration.

* * *

The gentle night breeze ruffled his hair again, this time lasting longer than usual. Feeling a little shiver, he brought up his hands. Rubbing his hands against his arms, he watched the softly lit castle. An occasional shadow or two would appear loitering around the hallway and he knew they would be the soldiers on duty. Once in a while, he'd hear the sound of a horse neighing but nothing more. Breathing in more deeply, his eyes gave a last glance at the castle before turning away.

* * *

Though his eyes were shut close, he could feel sunlight streaming in. Turning to lie on his back, he slowly opened his eyes as a hand slowly lifted to rest upon his forehead. In that silent moments he just stared up, motionless. Occasionally the sound of boots tapping distinctively against the ground came and went but nothing more. 

He heard his son's cheerful chatter with his daughter as they walked past his room, but even that had not made him move.

_A month had passed since Wolfram returned here. A month since I accepted him back into my life._

His thoughts were trained on the past years he'd lived without Wolfram. Or rather, he'd tried to imagine the golden-haired knight's life in those years. He could have dwell more on those thoughts but he did not. Instead, he sat up with the sheets pooled around his torso before slipping away from his bed.

* * *

The sound of hurried footsteps had him smiling to himself, despite himself, as he finished polishing his sword. The flaps of his tent were pushed aside rather impatiently but he took his time glancing up. Just as expected, the king was here again. As though on cue, the anxious expression the king would always have disappeared whenever the dark-haired man saw him. 

Sheathing his sword, he stood up as he turned towards the king. His friends, some shocked by the appearance of the king, snapped themselves back to reality and quickly gave respectable bows to which the king actually ignored.

"Ready?" Dark green eyes slid down to see a sheathed sword at the king's side before glancing up. Giving a small smile, he nodded before following the king out. This was something that was quickly becoming a daily routine. Wolfram no longer went for training. Instead, somehow or rather, his practices were always with the king. Strangely enough none of the trainers seemed to mind that he was being excused, and he had a feeling that his brother was behind all this. He didn't mind one bit, though he'd like it if they had told him about it.

With the king walking in front, he took the opportunity to observe the dark-haired man. He was amazed at how confident Yuuri was walking now. The slight swagger the king had adopted, the proud tilt of his chin had Wolfram secretly beaming with pride. The powerful and kingly aura Yuuri was emitting had the other soldiers staring at him but only he knew. Yuuri would always be Yuuri.

* * *

Breathless, he let himself flopped down onto the grass, dark eyes closed for the moment. Another harsh breathing accompanied his as he felt a body sat beside him. This was one of the moments he favored among others. Being with Wolfram actually made him at peace, knowing full well that the knight would always be there. 

Their friendship seemed to return, though it was still a little restrained. Yes, there were still times when he would argue with his friend over the most ridiculous things. And there were times when the knight had exploded about his privacy and the king's sudden urge of needing to know where the knight had been and who had he been with.

A foot nudged his. His eyes opened with such slowness before glancing at his side, watching the golden-haired knight's profile. He was gazing ahead, unmoving. Dark green eyes was obviously watching intently at something. The king, ignoring whatever the knight was gazing at, watched him instead, watched how the breeze playful ruffled those golden locks haphazardly and watched how his soft pliant body turned suddenly stiff.

"Someone's coming." Though he spoke in a near-whisper, Wolfram's tone changed drastically. Almost instinctively the king took hold of the knight's wrist just as he was about to make his escape. His action earned him a doe-like glance from the knight, to which he shook his head in reply. A frown scrunched up his features before Wolfram stiffened even heard upon hearing the advisor's hurried greeting to the king.

"Your Majesty, a pressing issue is at hand."

Yuuri moved with such slow laziness, despite having heard the urgency in Gunter's voice. It was an attempt to extend his time with the golden-haired knight, even if all he did was moving, before he had to attend to this 'pressing issue'. Releasing his grip on Wolfram's wrist, Yuuri moved to push himself off the ground. During all this, the knight hadn't moved a single time. When his wrist was released, all he did was lower his hand to his side. His head was bowed a little, golden locks had already slid forward to hide his features from the king.

"I could not believe this is happeni-" He'd already tuned out Gunter's ramblings as he straightened himself and brushed the dirt off his back. Knowing that the advisor was still rambling away, Yuuri glanced down at Wolfram. With his profile facing the lilac-haired advisor, Wolfram's face was thankfully well-hidden. As though being called, the knight lifted his head slightly, locks still hiding most of his features. A small understanding smile appeared as the knight gave a slight nudge of his head. An indication of his that the king knew Wolfram was allowing him to go and attend to his business. Giving a short nod as he sighed, he turned to his oblivious advisor.

"Come on Gunter. Let's see to this matter you've mentioned."

* * *

That small smile he'd gave stayed on as the king walked away, with Gunter in tow. He stayed motionless as the two walked, Gunter's voice growing softer by every step they took. Once he could no longer hear them, did he finally turned to watch them before they disappeared from his sight. His smile drooped a little, the intense emotion swirling in those dark green eyes of his. 

"_I cannot believe this is happening, but we've received word that she is returning to the castle._

Gunter had rambled on about what he thought and what he wished he could do but Wolfram knew the king had already tuned the advisor out. But he wasn't like the king, though he wished he had done so. Honest to himself, his heart sank when he heard it. He wished he had left before Gunter came. He wished he was anywhere but where he was now. He wished he had pulled away when the king caught his wrist. But he didn't. He knew he should but a part of him had wanted to stay with Yuuri as long as he could. He pulled his knees close to his chest, his arms wrapped around them just as he opened his eyes. Though Gunter hadn't mention names, he'd already guessed who 'she' was.

* * *

Initial shock was what he felt at that exact moment. Disbelief came after, with anger following closely behind. And all these were directed to the one person seated ahead of him as he stood in the doorway. Conrad, standing just a few distance away, glanced at him with a grimace. His chocolate eyes held a sympathetic look to which he masked quickly as the other person stood up. 

"Aren't you glad I'm back?"

The sugary tone had him clenching his hands into tight fists, his eyes narrowing with annoyance. Silently he only watched, the others fearfully stole glances at him while others winced unnoticed.

"It must have been such a long time. I never thought I'll be gone that long but now -"

"What in Shin-ou's name are you doing back here?" Almost instantly, his voice transformed. To the deep, almost emotionless, voice he'd use in his younger days. Except this time, there was an underlying tone. A tone that indicated his subtle urge to throw that particular person out of his house. "I gave you no right to show your face here ever again." His voice had everyone turned mime.

A smirk appeared on her face, her dark eyes glittering, as she turned to fully face him. In silence, her heels tapped the floor distinctively as she made her way towards him. With a defiant stance, she stared up at him despite him having a good head taller than her.

"Is that any way to talk to the mother of your child?"

* * *

The door opened with such ferocity, it slammed right against the wall as he strode into. Conrad, Gwendel and Gunter followed in tow. Stopping suddenly in the middle of the room, he twirled around. Seeing the anger vivid in his dark glittering eyes, Gunter had little choice but winced under the severe glare. 

"What is she doing here?"

No one had the courage to answer and he didn't wait for one either. With lightning actions, he'd already turned around once again and stomped his way to the window. In times like this, he'd found soothing calm just by glancing out of the window. It was no wonder Wolfram found great interest in just looking out.

_Wolfram._

With the golden knight in thought, his eyes sought out for his friend and found the knight still there. In the place he'd left him alone before coming to deal with this mess. Already his eyes softening, without his knowledge, as he gazed down at the sleeping knight, who'd thrown a hand over his eyes. With a sigh, he turned around. His arm were crossed as he glanced at the knights before him.

"Haven't the marriage been annulled?"

"The marriage had been considered void upon the day she left, Your Majesty. However-"

"However?"

"However, the marriage would still be considered valid if one spouse returns." This was finished by Conrad who took pity on the lilac-haired advisor.

"Why didn't anyone inform me of this important detail?" He glanced around the room before his eyes rested on his guardian for answers. Undetered by the king's stare, Conrad gave an obvious answer.

"Because Your Majesty was too enamored with her."

"Entirely my fault." After a lengthy silence, Yuuri glanced away. With no obvious solution, he could do nothing but resigned his fate to a life with that woman. If he had known then what he knew now, he wouldn't have gone through the wedding. At the very least, he'll be married to Wolfram who was obviously a lesser hassle than his estranged wife.

"There is a way for Your Majesty to get out of this mess." Gwendel's deep voice interrupted his thoughts, bringing his dark eyes glancing at the brooding knight. During the entire time, the dark-haired knight, who'd been leaning against the wall, was silent without offering any solutions. Arms crossed, his own blue eyes glanced up at the king. "Offer marriage to another before she makes the marriage permanent."

* * *

_I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now. I'm not sure if its love or just plain concern. But I do know is I wouldn't be whole without you in my life. It didn't matter what people might eventually say, all it matters is to have you by my side. With you as my partner in life._


	10. Vengeful Reunion

_**Wow, it's been a month since my last update! Bet you guys are dying to read this next chapter. So, without wasting any more time...**_

_**To those who've reviewed, thanks again! To those who've patiently waited for the new chapter, so sorry I've kept you waiting...  
**_

* * *

_**- The Voice of My Troubled Heart -**_

_- Vengeful Reunion -  
_

* * *

_Dreams is nothing more than a fragment of your imagination. But in my case, dreams is more than that. They are fragments of hope scattering far from me. Glittering in the dark void of my heart, I'll never grab hold of them. But I don't want my feelings to turn to ashes as I looked up into the reality. In my despair, I embraced dreams that cannot be forgotten and can never be real._

* * *

A gentle breeze came and went, his clothes ruffled by the playful wind. His hair, though already unruly, was ruffled even more. But not once he stirred. After some time, a sound emitted from him and his hand, which had been thrown over his eyes, reflexively clenched before returning to its relaxed state. He moved his hand, it falling gently at his side just as he opened his eyes. A sleepy gaze was what he had in his eyes, a dreamy smile still lodged on his lips. 

He knew the dream he had was one he had dreamt countless times, but he could not help but smile at the impossibility for it to happen. But even so-

_It doesn't hurt to dream though._

Minutes later he heard a voice calling his name. He slowly sat up, using his elbows to push himself up. From a distance, he saw the young prince running towards him, a hand waving in greeting. His daughter wasn't far behind, though she wasn't running at all. With a smile, he waved in reply and waited as the prince came to a stop beside him.

* * *

"-but who should His Majesty offer marriage to? There hadn't been anyone he had shown interest in." Behind him, he heard his advisor argued. Eyes closed as a sigh emitted from him, he leaned his head slightly forward, his forehead touching the cool window pane. 

"Would a previous engagement be considered valid now?"

His words stopped everyone in surprise. He didn't want to do this, he didn't want to reveal Wolfram to everyone just yet. But he didn't have a choice now. Wolfram was his last option. Lifting his head, he glanced back at the others.

"I'm going to offer marriage to Wolfram."

"That engagement had already been considered void when you married her." This came from Wolfram's oldest brother, dashing every hope the king held at the moment.

"Unless he consents to it." Hearing Conrad's soft yet calm voice had him giving his guardian a sharp glance and noted a smile appearing.

"But Wolfram isn't here . He left eight years ago and we still have no idea where he is."

"I do." Again, he interrupted his advisor.

* * *

Like before, the young prince chattered on with his sister as he kept his grips on their hands. With the castle in view, he led the way back, knew that he'd had to relinquish his time with them pretty soon. 

"Darling!"

The feminine voice rang through, he glancing up at the direction it came from. He felt a sudden tightening of the prince's grip in his hand but he ignored it. His eyes observed the beautiful woman standing just before the castle entrance, luggages littered around her. He'd noticed how her body stiffened with a sudden upon seeing them. Or more specifically, upon seeing him. Her dark eyes shone a cold somewhat malicious glint before it was quickly masked by a more fake surprised look. Her smile held no warmth and he felt a chill, despite the sunny weather.

Tearing his gaze from her, he glanced down at Yukio who seemed rooted to the ground. A shy, almost fearful look glanced up his way, dark eyes staring intently into his own deepened green ones. An encouraging smile appeared on his lips, though he wasn't feeling encouraged himself. "Shall we go and greet your mother?"

Yes, he knew who the woman was. The woman who gave life to the young boy beside him. The queen who ran away years ago. Yuuri's wife.

* * *

No one spoke in that few minutes. He could see the stunned look Gunter had, the narrowed look Gwendel gave him and the masked delighted surprised look Conrad displayed. Taking in a deep breath, he lifted his chin slightly. His eyes showed no hesitance. 

"I'm going to offer marriage to Wolfram." He repeated his words the second time. He didn't know if it was to convince the others, or himself. But he knew he wasn't going to offer it to just anyone. It was either Wolfram or him spending a lifetime with that woman.

"But- but Your Majesty-" Gunter stuttered. "How do you know Lord Bielefeld is here?"

"A month ago. I've been with him a month ago."

"You knew he was here for a month and didn't have the decency to tell us?" This came from Gwendel, his eyes darkened slightly. He leaned forward rather threateningly but nothing else. Yuuri hadn't a clue on what to say. He couldn't possibly say he didn't want them to find out about Wolfram. And he really couldn't exactly say he wanted Wolfram be kept as a secret.

"Yuuri isn't the only one." All eyes were now on the brown-haired guardian who actually had a somewhat guilty look. "I knew he was here too." If Gwendel wasn't a tactical knight, he'd would have growled. But all he did was narrowing his eyes even more before severely glancing at the king. Yuuri could have swore he heard a snap as those dark blue eyes connected with his.

* * *

The young prince hesitated, shaking his head. 

"But she's your mother, Yukio. How bad can she be?"

"You have no idea." Though it was muttered under her breath, he heard it. He gave her a quick annoyed glance that he knew Greta read as a one of those 'not helping' kind of looks.

"I want Wolfram-niichan to be my mother."

Hearing this sudden outburst, he gave a somewhat choked sound before coughing slightly. A light laughter came soon after as he lowered himself to the prince's level, aware of his daughter's stifled snickers.

"But I can't be your mother Yukio."

"Why not?"

"Silly boy. I'm a man." The young boy shook his head as he latched himself onto Wolfram, the boy's small arms wrapped around his neck.

"-don't care. I want Wolfram-niichan to be my mother." The words were muffled against his neck but Wolfram could still hear them. His traitorous heart skipped a beat, causing his emotions to nearly spin out of control. Taking a deep breath, he gently pulled the boy slightly away from him. Enough for him to stare intently into small dark eyes, while at the same time, giving him a soft assuring smile.

"I can't be your mother, Yukio. Nothing can change that fact. But I'll always be 'Wolfram-niichan' to you. Come on, it isn't nice to let your mother wait. Let's go greet her, all right?"

Yukio, though reluctant, gave a small nod before unlocking his arms around Wolfram. With his assuring smile still in place, the golden-haired knight pulled himself to his full height and gently grasped the boy's hand in his again. Without forgetting Greta, he took her hand as well. With another deep breath, this time to calm his trembling nerves, he glanced up before making his way towards the woman before him.

* * *

"Your mess. You deal with it." He slowly nodded at the harsh tone Gwendel was giving him. The dark-haired knight narrowed his eyes again before leaving the room with a firm audible click. His breath was released with a swift sound, his shoulders sagging after being rigidly stiffened. 

"Your Majesty-" He shook his head just as Gunter called out to him. He let out a bright assuring smile before walking to glance out of the window.

"Don't worry, everything will be al-" His eyes widened as he glanced outside, not believing on what he was seeing. Without any warning, he twirled and ran out of the room. Leaving both Gunter and Conrad in stunned silence.

* * *

With a smile plastered and a young prince squirming beside him, he just stood there. The woman gave a distasteful quick glance at him before turning her attention to the young prince who quickly hid behind his legs. He saw she didn't falter at the sudden action of Yukio, her smile was in place. Almost protectively, he placed a hand upon his young charge's glossy dark hair. Gently he steered the boy out to the front, nodding down at his upturned fearful face. Taking his nod as a confirmation, the boy turned to his mother. 

"M-Mother." It came out in a near-whisper, very formal and indirect for the prince had his eyes staring at the ground. His mother's smile grew even more, her eyes glancing up at Wolfram's in a somewhat defiant and smug look, as she tried to give the boy a hug. But the boy shrank even farther from her, only to find himself trapped between the two adults. Having no choice, he reluctantly allowed the woman to hold him.

"Greta, why don't you take Yukio inside? I believe it's nearly time for dinner." He took pity on the little boy as he called out to his daughter who stood beside him without turning to her. He felt more than heard Greta gave a short curt nod before stepping forward to clasp her brother's hand in hers.

"Your Highness," he greeted the former queen, giving her a respectful bow once the children were out of sight.

"Lord Bielefeld. It is a surprise to see you in the castle grounds again."

The queen gave him a once-over look in a lazy manner, circling him before turning her back on him. Ever the knight, he waited as she climbed several steps before she looked over her shoulder. Her long brown hair moved with the movement, cascading down her neck.

"I'd never thought you'd ever show your face here again. It's been what? Eight? Nine years since that day?" He didn't say anything but lowered his chin slightly. His golden tresses ruffled forward, hiding his expression. But nothing could hide the sudden clenching of his fists at his sides. Or the grim line his mouth had taken on. He hadn't seen the smirk on her face, for she could see how her words were affecting her.

"Now, would you be a dear and take all of my luggages back to my room? You do know which one, don't you?"

Giving another reluctantly nod, he turned towards the bags while deliberately blocking any sound other than the thundering of his heart. A hand was already reaching out for one of the luggages when a hand stopped his in mid-action. Swiftly he glanced up to find the king staring at him with such a serious expression. Dark eyes were narrowed, brow furrowed as he shook his head.

"Carry those bags yourself, Marlienne. He'll not be your personal lapdog." Wolfram was surprised to hear such a curt tone from the king. Especially towards his wife. Following the king's movement, he straightened himself up, all the while watching the king. "And you are not permitted into my room. Gunter will show you to a room." In his stunned silence, all he could do was allow Yuuri to pull him past the fuming woman and into the castle. He heard a distant stomp behind him and would have turned if not for the king forcefully tugging him.

Onward they went, past the soldiers and the maids. Down the hall and into the king's room. Standing more lik a silenced idiot in the middle of the room, Wolfram watched as the king closed the door with a firm click. The dark-haired king turned around and leaned his entire frame against the door for a moment before striding forcefully towards the knight.

"What did she say to you?" Dumbstruck, the golden-haired knight stared at the king. He was slightly taken aback by how serious the king was right now. Subconsciously he took a subtle step back before turning away from the king for a moment. He had to think, had to get his nerves calm. "Wolfram! What did she say-"

"Nothing!" He hadn't meant for it to come out in a near-shout as he whirled back to the king. His rattled nerves and emotions were causing him to lose control. He took a deep breath before continuing. "She didn't say anything other than how nice to see me back in the castle again."

But the king seemed unsatisfied with his answer, his frown deepened even more. "Are you sure that's all she said?" The knight gave a nod, dark green eyes staring intently into dark ones. A while later, the king glanced down at the stone floor while letting out an exhausted sigh.

"Wolfram, there is something I have to discuss with you. Something that may have an impact on everyone's lives. But mostly yours, mine and the children's."

* * *

_He is hiding something. I just know it._

Yuuri was sure his friend was hiding something, if the way the knight looked away was any indication. He'd asked Wolfram again, to which the knight gave a quite determined nod and stared at him intently. But not before he'd seen the golden-haired man took a deep breath.

While he was upstairs, talking to his three advisors, he'd seen the golden-haired knight standing before his estranged wife. He'd watched how the knight gently gestured for his son to greet his mother before allowing Greta to take her brother inside. But what had him fled the room in such a manner was the predatory way his wife ventured towards the knight. His actions, now he'd thought about it, was quite alarming to him. It was as though he'd been afraid for the two to actually meet. So he had done what his body had wanted to do. Get Wolfram away from the former queen.

_'I'd never thought you'd ever show your face here again. It's been what? Eight? Nine years since that day?'_

He had been near the castle entrance, just behind the former queen and the golden-haired knight when he heard her words.

_Nine years since that day? What does she mean?_

He would have continued pondering on her words but her next sentence had him trying to reel in his anger.

_'-would you be a dear and take all of my luggages back to my room? You do know which one, don't you?'_

It was said in such a smug tone that he strode past her and towards the already bending knight. His hand stopped Wolfram's from grabbing hold her bags. He knew his friend was quite surprised to find him there, for the knight had whipped up his head with such lightning action. Without realizing it, he clasped the knight's wrist as he straightened himself and tugging the knight forward to follow him. Without even looking at his wife, he'd nearly growled out his sentences.

_Don't think of that woman, Yuuri. Think about how you're going to say it to Wolfram._

Letting out a breath, he glanced up back at the knight. "Wolfram, there's something I have to discuss with you. Something that may have an impact on everyone's lives. But mostly yours, mine and the children's."

* * *

_I hope you'll agree to it. I want nothing more than you saying you'll agree to it. I want nothing more than having you permanently in Greta's life, in Yukio's. But what I want even more is you'll be in mine. Say you'll never disappear again._

* * *


	11. A Painful Smile

_**Another monthly update. Wow, I'm really slowing down. No excuse this time, just...just bear with me, k?**_

_**Again, thanks for the reviews. Any grammatical errors of any sorts, I'm apologizing in advance. I might or might not edit this chapter. **_

_**Just a note, both quotes are entirely Wolfram's. Can't think for Yuuri at the moment. And didn't expect you guys to react strongly about Yuuri's wife.  
**_

* * *

_**- The Voice of My Troubled Heart -**_

_- A Painful Smile -  
_

* * *

_On that day I left, I didn't realize letting go would be this painful. I kept running, never looking back. I pretended my heart wasn't breaking, wasn't aching. I pretended my heart wasn't desperately reaching out to you. _

_'Why wasn't it me?'_

_I looked up at the crying sky. Its tears mingled with mine, though I tried so hard not to let my tears fall. A day never went by without me remembering. A moment was never passed without me wishing. And again, my heart reaches out. _

_'I want to see you. I want to see you. Your smiling face in my memory is just too cruel.'_

* * *

Upon hearing the king's words, he could only stare as millions of possibilities flashed through his mind. But only one kept repeating. His mind kept telling him to keep silent and allow the king to inform him of what he needed to be informed, but his heart could not be still. 

"Does it have something to do with Her Highness?" Yuuri was startled for a moment, his eyes kept blinking.

"Her Highness?"

"Your wife, Yuuri." He had to clear his throat while getting his emotions in check.

"My – Look, let's not talk about her, all right?" Exasperated, the king let out his breath as he turned away from the knight. This made Wolfram even more doubtful. A frown delicately marred his features as he crossed his arms.

"But she's your wife, Yuuri. You did say this concerns your children. So it's right to say that it concerns her." The king gave him an annoyed near-glare that he smoothly interpreted as 'you just had to point that out, didn't you?' kind of looks. If he had found this situation somewhat amusing, Wolfram would have let out a smirk and a challenging look in his dark green eyes. Not to mention, a defiantly smug stance.

"She's my wife, yes, but this does not concern her. I mean – it does concern her-" At that last bit, the golden-haired knight raised a perfectly arched golden eyebrow, causing the king to get flustered.

"So it does concern her as well."

"No! It does not concern her-"

"But you just said-"

"Wolfram!" By now the king had his hands upon the knight's shoulders, his dark eyes glaring. "Look, just let me say what I've been meaning to tell you, all right?" Numbly but not dumbstruck, the knight nodded. He felt the king's hands went slack for a moment, and then clenched his shoulders again. He watched Yuuri hung his head, staring at the ground. It was as though the dark-haired man was trying to make a decision. After what seemed to be a few minutes, the king finally moved away from him. He remained as where he was, trying to figure out the king's actions.

Then, everything happened in a flash.

* * *

_What the -_

He could not believe his eyes. In stunned silence, all he could was stare at the hardened look in those dark green eyes. He noticed how the knight's jaw tightened, those luscious lips drew a grim line.

_I never knew Wolfram had that kind of speed._

"What do you think you're doing?" His voice had lost all traces of mischief and smug, it had turned the king mute for the moment. "Yuuri! I'm asking you! What do you think you're doing?" His hand were thrown back to his side, he could feel mild pain streaking up the entire arm. Wolfram turned away from him and turned back to glare once more at the dumbstruck king. He cleared his throat as his mind raced to find a valid answer. But he could find only one.

"I was trying to s-" Noticing the knight's eyes narrowed even more, the dark-haired king blinked several times. "I was trying to slap you." A frown was etched upon the knight's forehead and it deepened even more.

"And why would you be doing that?" It was said in such a whisper that had the king trembled. He could actually feel a chill down his spine. It wasn't as thought the knight was threatening him. In fact, it was said in such a gentle manner that the king feared.

"I'm- I'm proposing to you."

"Propose to me?! Are you out of your mind?! What kind of game you're trying to pull?!"

"It's not a game! I want to marry you!" In retaliation, Yuuri gave his own shout. The knight let out a scoffing sound as he turned away again.

"Marry me? And why, pray tell, would you want to marry me now and not eight years ago?" He was silent, unable to answer the golden-haired knight. "Tell me, _Your Majesty_, why do you want to marry me?" Silence greeted the knight once again as the king, with a wince, looked away when the golden-haired knight turned to face him once again. "What ever reason can a demon king give to his people about marrying again when he has such a lovely wife at his side? Is the king trying to salvage whatever is left of his pride by marrying a man? Especially when it's obvious to one that the king's marriage is in trouble?"

"Stop it! You know that's not true!" He glared at the knight who, in turn, met his glare with an even narrowed eyes.

"So you're marrying me out of love?"

* * *

"So you're marrying me out of love?" His voice had toned down slightly, bitterness emitting from it. "No, this isn't even about love. You don't love me." He could feel his nerves racking with emotions as he knew he wasn't able to maintain his tough exterior for long. Already tears threatened to spill and he just knew he had to get away. Away from the king before those damn tears escape again. "I do know all about the estrangement between you and Lady Marlienne. And I also do know of the marriage laws, especially of the one where the king is allowed to break off an annulled marriage by marrying again. I'm amazed that you know of it. My brothers must have informed you of it and that's why you're using me as a way to escape permanent marriage from your wife. Real smooth _Your Majesty_." 

Distinctive footsteps tapped the stony floor as he made his way towards the door. With a hand on the doorknob, he stared at the grainy texture of the door. "I should have never return back here. My mistake-"

_- is to let my heart open up again._

"Wolfram-" Hearing the king, he shook his head without looking back at the frowning king.

"Sorry Yuuri. I can't help you this time."

_Not at the expense of my heart._

* * *

The sun's glare was directed right onto his face, causing him to squint. Beneath him, he felt the grass swayed and ruffled with the wind. The wind was exceptionally violent today. He didn't mind it though. In fact, the wind suited his mood rather well. 

_That idiot. What does he think he's trying to pull? Offering marriage when his is obviously in trouble? So I'm only good enough for this? Is that what he's trying to say?_

"Maybe all he wanted was just a nanny." In an ever so soft whisper, he tilted his head back. Luxurious golden locks hid his expression as he threw a hand over his eyes, fingers flexing subconsciously. Letting out a sigh, he let his mind wandered. The caressing wind cooled his sun-kissed skin as he gently slipped back into that forbidden dream of his.

* * *

"Wolfram-niichan!" The young prince's voice seeped through, lulling him back to reality. Moving his hand aside, his eye slowly opened. A somewhat dreamy gleam appeared in his dark green eyes before he blinked it away. Using his arms to push himself up, he saw the prince growing closer to him. A smile began to play at his lips before faltering. Conrad, with a grim look, came to view behind the dark-haired young prince. 

Struggling to sit up, he thankfully caught Yukio just as the boy launched himself onto him. The gentle smile appeared again as he playfully ruffled those glorious dark locks before glancing up. Brown eyes that used to look upon him with tenderness now was filled with something akin to a intense look.

"Br-Brother?" The title unexpectedly escaped in a whisper, but thankfully, the brown-haired knight hadn't heard the slip-up.

"Wolfram, you are ordered to attend an urgent meeting right now." Shock was evidently etched in his features before it was washed away by narrowed eyes.

"Ordered? And who gave such an order?" His brother had no reply to this, to which he let out a slight bitter laugh. "I should have guessed." The prince, having heard the bitterness in his favourite Wolfram-niichan's tone, lifted his head. Dark eyes observed the golden-haired knight's features with concern, but the two adults had forgotten about him. "And what if I say no to such an order? Fine, I'll amuse _His Majesty_ this time." The knight let out an exasperated sigh before turning his attention to the frowning young prince in his lap. "Yukio, any idea on your sister's whereabouts?"

The young boy gave out a thoughtful look. "I think Greta-neechan's gone to the village with Gisela." With a sigh, Wolfram steered the boy gently off his lap and brought himself to his full height.

"Then we'll just have to find someone else to play with you, all right? Let's see if we can find someone."

* * *

His footsteps echoed throughout the near-empty hallway that led to the room where the meeting was being held. Patrolling soldiers stood, gaping, upon seeing the Lord Bielefeld striding past them with Lord Weller in tow. They were amazed to see Lord Bielefeld well with his coloring somewhat different from when he was young. But nevertheless, the knight looked good, if not even better with age. The scowl did little to diminish the natural beauty the young knight had. 

Unlike the king, he had the decency not to fling the door open despite the mood he was currently in. Already his eldest brother and Gunter were seated in the room with the king staring out of the window. He ignored the startled look Gunter casted at his way as he strode right to the middle of the room, just before the table where the king was.

"You rang?" His tone held sarcasm that didn't fell on deaf ears. The king turned, a smirk appearing before faltering to oblivion upon seeing the knight's grim look.

"To put it mildly, yes." A glare casted upon the king would have silenced Wolfram's former soldiers but not the king. In fact, the king ignored it. "I called you here in regards to a serious matter that involve nearly everyone in the room. I'll just get straight to the point. You are going to marry me."

"Give me one good reason why should I?" In a blistering tone, the golden-haired knight assumed a stubborn stance with arms crossed at his chest. The glare he gave out grew even colder.

"Yukio." The king's answer was so simple, it actually had the knight baffled.

"Excuse me?"

"Yukio is my reason. Do you want Yukio to suffer in the hands of that woman?"

"_That_ woman is your wife. And rightly so Yukio's mother. So why would his mother hurt him?" He could see the king clenched his jaw but said nothing. Instead, the lilac-haired advisor stepped in.

"Wolfram, please listen to the king and do as he says. If anything, do it for Young Prince Yukio." If silence was a clock, it would have created a really booming tick in the room. He trained his eyes on the king for a very long time, neither one moved nor blinked. Until finally, the knight let out a sigh as he turned away.

"It's cruel to use the prince as a bargaining chip." And with that, he left the room.

* * *

If anything goes, he didn't care anymore. Didn't care of the fact he was walking out in the open where everyone who thought he'd died could see him. Listlessly wandering around, his expression could be labelled as brooding. Without realizing, he had stopped directly in front of the castle fountain. The fountain which the king had used countless times to get to his human world. Dark green eyes stared darkly at his reflection in the calm water, the breeze occasionally came and rippled the water once in a while. 

He was torn. Torn in two, so to speak. By his mind and his heart. One warned him of the dangers of reconciling his relationship with the king, while the other urged him to take the offer. Dangers he had already faced. It didn't help that he himself was edging to his heart's desire.

He stared out, particularly at nothing before he casted glances at his sides. Contemplating, he glanced down at the clear blue water shimmering in the fountain. With a slight frown etched, he reached out. His hand moved closer to the surface of the water. Just barely, the fingertips grazed. In an instant, a chain of fire trailed at the side of the fountain, touching just the surface. It had been years he'd allowed himself to release his fire. He'd taken years to control his fire and tamed it, changing that raging power into healing instead.

His fire danced about, the red fiery colour blazing even under the hot sun. The cackles it made were loud, sizzling at the same time as parts of the fire touched the water.

"Wolfram." The fire was extinguished in that instant as he twirled around, his eyes spotting the dark-haired king standing just a few feet away from him. "You need to understand. Understand the reason why I'm doing this."

He didn't trust himself to speak. He didn't trust himself enough to retort or do anything. But there was only one thing he could do. He turned. Turning his back on the king, staring at the clear blue water of the fountain. In his reflection he saw himself frowning. Worse still, he could see his eyes still burning with his love for the king. He closed his eyes, couldn't bear to see those expressive eyes any longer. "Then tell me," he finally voiced out. Turning around, his eyes stared at the king. "Tell me the reason for all this."

* * *

In silence they sat upon the stone structure of the fountain. In silence they stared at anything but each other. In silence they heard the howling of the wind slowly picking up before dying softly. And in silence he took a deep breath. 

"Before I can tell you the reason, there is something that you need to know." Casting a dark-eyed glance at his side, he found the knight silent and unmoving. His golden head hung and his eyes stared down at the ground as hands tightly gripped the edge of the fountain. "Before you disappeared entirely from everyone's lives, my life, I didn't have the courage to confess. That every-"

"Everyone knew, except for me. They knew you were in love. Just- just not with me," the knight whispered. "And after I was gone, our engagement was totally dissolved. Allowing you to marry. Particularly a female. I know it all, Yuuri, so just tell me the reason already."

* * *

"_Shouldn't we find Wolfram first before making any hasty decision?" Tentatively he glanced at the many faces around him. Or more in particular, glancing at his guardian for guidance. "I mean shouldn't we let Wolfram explain his actions?"_

"_But Your Majesty, "_

"_There isn't any time left to waste. This has to be made final immediately." A new voice rang out almost sternly. "Lord Bielefeld lost his chance to explain when he chose to run. It is time things are handled by us." Dark eyes glanced away from his frowning guardian and towards a stern-looking aging woman. "And the decision has already been made. The engagement between Your Majesty and Lord Bielefeld is no longer valid and, thus, dissolved as of now." Murmurs of others seemed to agree with the woman as they stood up to make their leave. Dumbfounded, all he could do was stare._

"_That's it?! All you did was that?" Members of the council ignored their king as they made their way out of the room. All, save for the old woman. "At least allow Wolfram the opportunity to redeem himself."_

"_If I may so boldly ask, Your Majesty. Why does Your Highness care about Lord Bielefeld's words? His explanation of his actions?" In a more smug manner, the woman lifted her chin. A smirk appeared as a gleam appeared in her aged eyes. "I've heard how Your Majesty, countless times, denied any sorts of 'entanglement' with His Lordship. And if the rumours were really true, Your Majesty should be happy with this outcome. Very happy, I should say. You are now eligible to marry that young woman of yours."_

* * *

He'd heard this before, read it countless times in his brother's letter. And it still didn't help to hear it again. Especially from the king. He tried his best to look anywhere but the king. Thankfully though, the king himself seemed to be lost in thoughts. 

_His hands gripped the edges of the letter, crinkling it as his fingers unconsciously flexed. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the words, and even if he could, he knew he'll read it again. _

_'You knew this would happen, haven't you? So why should it come as a shock to you now?' _

_The taunting voice of his mind wasn't helping ease the pain. If any, it just made it worse. That, combined with the words his brother had written. _

_'...Not long after the council's decision, Yuuri made an announcement to everyone in the kingdom that he was getting married. In the beginning, everyone had thought he would be marrying you. I remember how surprised they were when he revealed that, in fact, he was marrying Lady Marlienne. Soon after, preparations for the wedding was made. Mother reluctantly helped with the preparations. _

_In a couple of weeks the wedding would commence...'_

He remembered how he couldn't bear to read anymore and how his tears flowed without hesitation. After reading that letter, he'd finally realized just how much he'd actually meant to the king.

_Feeling helpless, he'd pulled his knees close to him, tucking them under his chin. Hugging them, he stared blurry at nothing. Blink after blink, fresh new bout of tears would appear. _

_'I don't mean a thing to him. Nothing at all. So why am I crying over him? Why should I give a damn about him?' After long minutes of staring out, he lowered his chin slowly. Resting his forehead upon his knees, he tightened his grip again. How he wished he could just disappear._

"...nine months after, Yukio was born and that's when the trouble started" The words of the king softly jerked him back to the present. "Everytime I paid a little more attention to Yukio, she'll try to pull me away. In the beginning I thought she felt that I was neglecting her. Something about post-depression, I think. But months later I finally found out the truth. She didn't want to share the throne with anyone. Not even her son. A fool I was to actually forgive her again and again. The last straw came when she actually tried to sell Yukio away and labelled it as kidnapping."

Surprise and utter shock had him snapping his head back to the king who nodded in confirmation. This, his brother had not inform him in all of his letters.

"And that's when the estrangement began. I had her placed in that end of the castle, far from us. A little over a month, she left. Without saying anything to us but with someone else."

"Yuuri-" A shake of the king's dark head had him stoping in mid-sentence. Dark eyes glanced up at his green ones, a small smile appearing.

"It's all right. I hardly feel the pain anymore."

* * *

His eyes glanced down, and met a very similar pair glancing up. A frown etched, eyes narrowed. Shoulders sagged, a sigh escaped. His eyes closed for a moment, his reflection vanished in that blink moment of darkness. 

_So this is my answer?_

Eyes re-opened again, this time his chin lifted as he watched the sky. A gentle breeze came for a moment, ruffled his golden locks and swept past. Silence was his answer. With the night fast approaching, the king had left his side. But not before assuring that he was all right.

"_Wolfram?" That tentative tone in the king's soft voice had him glancing up. Despite of what he was feeling, a small smile appeared. To assure the king. It seemed to satisfy the king but the dark-haired man still stood motionless. "Wolfram, about the -"_

_A shook of his head interrupted the king in mid-sentence. "It's all right. I think I know what I have to do."_

And he hoped he knew what he was getting himself into. A loveless marriage. A one-sided affair. A pinch of doubt seemed to sink in, but he quickly chased it away with a literal shook of his head.

_Everything for his happiness. _

Truthfully -

Truthfully, he didn't mind not having his love reciprocated. He didn't mind it one bit. Everything he'd done was for the sake of others' happiness.

_I've run away so he could be happy. I've returned so he could be happy. And now I'm marrying him, so he could be happy. _

A small smile, however sad though, played on his lips. His eyes glistened for a moment before he blinked the unshed tears away.

_No time for tears. No time to feel sorry for myself._

* * *

_The more I love, the more my heart aches. I hide my trembling heart and pretends to smile. My heart is filled with feelings to convey, but words wouldn't form. I know if I hadn't met you, I wouldn't have this embarrassing pain. But if I hadn't met you, I wouldn't know love. _

_Little by little, I've come to realize the pain will never heal. The love will never be returned. Though I fear the future, the bleak future, I couldn't refuse. You'll never know the true reason for my tears. Of unchanging feelings that I can never express well._

* * *

_**Both quotes are sad, don't you think? I tried to write a quote based on the last few sentences of the chapter, namely, the ones about Wolfram's unrequited love. I think I'm gonna cry. **  
_


	12. In The Gentle Night

_Work has been kind of stressful for me, thus the another monthly update. Also, been a little depressed since a band that I had started to like is going to be 'sealed' soon. Thankfully, able to get myself to start writing again. Though this time, the chapter's a little short. _

_Quotes are inspired by three of Gackt's Diabolos album, 'Farewell', 'Metamorphoze' and 'Storm'. Yuuri's quotes are especially inspired by 'Metamorphoze'. _

_This chapter may seem a little dreamy in the beginning, to me that is. _

_Again, thanks for the reviews. Especially for the ' A Painful Smile'. I think some had thought that would be the last chapter, but thankfully it's not. To those who reviewed, sorry if I didn't reviewed yours. But be assured, I may have read one or two of your stories. And some might have me alerting your stories._

Also, I've been thinking of creating an AU Kyou Kara fic. But it's still in progress.

* * *

_**The Voice of My Troubled Heart - Memories Locked Away**_

_- In The Gentle Night -  
_

* * *

_Even if you're beside me, I still could not touch you. And how I yearn to do so. To show you what I feel, to know how you'll react. But everything has to be a lie, a play of actors. I desperately hold on to any warmth you showed however false they may be. The flow of time is too cruel, it always torments me. How I wish I could shout to the sky, the unfairness of all. The happiness that can never return to my heart, the clarity of everything is just too painful. And even if I hold out my hands, you're untouchable._

* * *

A silhouetted figure, with a soft sigh, leaned its head against the stone wall, arms crossed while a foot propped onto the ledge it was sitting on. Its head, gleaming under the moonlight, rested gently against the wall it was leaning on. It was apparent that the figure was in deep thought, though it was not shown in its delicately feminine face. A smile was in place, though it contradicted feelings that he harbored. 

His composure, at that moment, cracked a little. A tiny tear slipped, trailing slowly down gentle skin. His smile drooped a little as well as he brought both legs close to him. His hands curled around the legs, his chin on the top of the knees. His eyes were half-lidded, the emotion swirling in the dark green depths. He was supposed to be mature, for goodness' sake, but at the moment-

The silence had always calmed him, the peace reassuring. Gentle wind caressed his skin, cooling as ever. Eyes closed, he leaned back.

* * *

In the darkness a hand slipped past sheets, moving across empty space. Fingers clenched reflexively on the bed sheets. Moments later, dark eyes gazed at nothing sleepily. A dark head rose, the very same hand helping to push off the bed. Blinking, he looked around, but not before he gazed down at the empty area beside his. His eyes registered that he was alone in the room. His eyes were wide now, fully awake as he anxiously looked around once again. 

The name was at the very tip of his tongue and was about to be verbally said, when he found the balcony doors were opened. Softly he padded across, after removing himself from his bed. What he found outside had him smiling, his entire frame visibly relaxed. In a few minutes he leaned his side against the wall, just watching. The dark golden hair was ruffled but the figure made no motion of sweeping them back to place. It was clear to one's eyes that he was sleeping, thankfully staying in place.

Straightening himself, he made his way to stand beside the sleeping figure. A hand reached out to gently prod the boy but stopped in mid-air. Apparently he thought otherwise and went back in. A while later, he returned outside but with a blanket in his arms. The blanket was dropped silently as he made to stand beside the figure again. Hands moved accordingly and silently. One slipped under the back of the knees while another slowly but gently pushed the figure forward. He felt the other body stirred, causing him to stop, but nothing else. When he was assured that his companion was still asleep, he moved quickly. Gently he placed the other down on the ground before dropping down himself and leaning the golden-haired man against himself. Almost immediately, the other turned and snuggled.

_This is fine, isn't it? It's nothing more. I'm just worried he'll get cold, that's all._

With that thought, he looked down before resting his chin upon the golden crown. A sigh ghosted out as he himself succumbed to the chilly night and its serene sleep.

* * *

Something warm stirred him gently. Sighing, he moved as he snuggled into something soft. A breath, warm and even, ruffled his hair. His eyes opened with such slowness, his vision blurred for a moment. Blinking into focus, he realized he had fallen asleep out in the balcony. 

_How odd. The morning air seemed unusually warm. _

That soft warm 'something' moved, a foreign object curled around his middle. Something akin to fingers flexed rather unconsciously, causing him to realize that an arm was in fact holding him. Slowly his head tilted as he gently pulled away slightly. What he saw, it made him smile. The wary expression he once wore, melted into a more gentler look. A dark head leaned against the stone wall, tilted a little further from the balcony ledge. Those dark locks were thrown across his face.

He felt a strong urge. To do something that he was sure he would never be allowed to do. His fingers itched for it, his smile saddened. Then, without any indication, his hands moved on their own. Higher they crawled, slipped past the blanket that was around the two of them. A hand gently brushed aside the stray locks, the tips of his fingers grazing that soft skin. His eyes closed for a moment and he rose. Gentle lips grew nearer, and finally, touched that same skin with just the slightest touch.

The king stirred, but not awakening. After watching the king settled even more comfortable, he finally laid his head against the other man's chest.

_Everything for him and Yukio. It's all an act. I have to remember that. _

Dark green eyes darkened even more. The smile that had been plastered, turning a little more sad. Beneath the blanket his hand fisted, the fingers bit tightly even more. His head lowered even more, golden locks falling forward.

_But it's just so hard to remind myself. Especially when I'm so close to him. Like now. _

It had been a week since he agreed to the king's 'proposal'. Seven days of him smiling, pretending to be entirely in love with the king. And the king with him. But it was not pretense on his part. It never was.

_Seven da- _

A sigh was softly emitted, he heard, while arms slowly but surely wrapped around him. Holding his breath, he struggled to keep his emotions intact. But his nerves proved to be quite the challenge, tingling at areas where the king's hands grazed. Finally they stopped, palms gently resting atop his hip. Without making a sound, his head lifted to watch the gentle smile the king had while asleep.

_If I get to see his smiles, I wouldn't mind this mindless act. None at all._

* * *

Metal scrapped harshly against metal, though the sound was not that deafening. A small grin, a twinkle in his eyes. His sword arm pushed before he leaped away, landing gently. Soft panting soon followed but he cared less for it. The exhilaration of fighting was already coursing through his entire lithe frame, the joy of the sword-fighting evident in his eyes and smile. 

His sparring partner could barely let out a smile, it was more like a grimace. With a soft laugh, he sheathed his sword. "I believe that would be enough for today. Thank you for the practice." With that word of thanks, he gave his partner an acknowledging nod who returned the nod with his own. A gleeful cry and the loud clapping caught his attention and he turned towards the direction. He spotted the children clapping enthusiastically, but his eyes had already travelled past them. To meet another pair accompanied by a serene smile. A nod followed soon after, hair gleaming under the sun.

His smile widened at the acknowledgment, his heart bursting with something. Something that was….indescribable. He watched the other glanced down as his son tugged on his sleeve for his attention. As he began to make his way towards them, he saw the other smiled even more widely as he nodded.

"…isn't he?" He caught the last bit just as he stopped.

"Is he what?" He enquired, his eyes truthfully confused. Green eyes glanced at him, mirth dancing in those eyes, as the other straightened himself to face him. Just as the knight was about to reply, he felt his own sleeve being tugged.

"Yukio said that you were magnificent just now." He heard as he bent to pick his son just as his daughter took hold of the knight's hand in hers. "I told him his father was, but of course you could never defeat me in a sword duel." He raised an eyebrow at the knight who smirked. His eyes strayed. Towards lips that looked almost feminine, curved into a teasing smirk.

'_I'm going to kiss that smirk off.'_

Startled, he blinked a couple of times.

"Yuuri? Are you all right?" Three pairs of concerned eyes watched him as he blinked. He gave a smile to assure them, nodding at the same time.

"Perfectly fine," he replied, averting his eyes from that pair of green ones in fear of him flaming up. "Isn't it time for dinner?" The question was asked in a way that allowed him to walk away from the frowning knight. "What do you think dinner is today?"

"Pizza!"

* * *

'_This is ridiculous.'_ His eyes, frowning as they were, glanced away from his plate. His mouth instantly dried as he watched. Lips that were sinfully taking a bite of the soft-looking pizza slice. _'I can't stop myself from staring.'_ Forcefully tearing his eyes away, he lifted them to watch the other. The eyes had softened, a movement caught his attention again. The lips had formed a smile, a tongue darting out to swipe off any excessive cheese that remained clinging to those luscious lips. He was disappointed to see the cheese gone, for he had wanted to clean it off. With his own lips. The revelation was startling. 

'_What is wrong with me?'_

"Yuuri!" He turned towards the voice, a pair of green eyes staring at him with a frown.

"Huh?" He had to force himself not to stare down.

"Are you all right? You've been staring at your plate for the past five minutes or so."

"I'm – I'm fine." He looked down, frowning again.

"Are you sure?" Sneaking a glance up, he noticed the knight staring at him with that concerned look. He could feel a blush raging on, and he knew he had to act fast.

"You know I'm kind of full at the moment. So I think I'll head back to the room first." Averting his eyes away, he stood up. The others, mainly the knight and his children, stared at him. He could feel the intense concerned stare from the knight, but he quickly walked past him without a glance. He could not afford to let the knight see how he was affecting him.

* * *

_Even now I want to softly touch your lips, and only yours. More than anyone's, I want to call your name over and over again. I want to hold you in my arms, to chase away all your fears away. But what I want the most. Is to have you breathe my name as __I hold you close and softly kiss you. _

_Tell me now. What is wrong with me?_

* * *

_This chapter has a little of 'Stubborn Souls', don't you think? Don't worry about Lady Marlienne though, I know some may be a little sad she's not killed or tortured, but she'll be back soon. Just as soon as I know when.  
_

_As mentioned above, I've been thinking of creating an AU Kyou Kara fic. So I'm placing a small preview here. It may seems to be a Conrad/Wolfram, but it's not. Rest assured it's still Yuuri/Wolfram. Tell me what you think. Suggestions are welcomed, of course. _

_oXoXoXoXo  
_

_A hand pressed against the cool glass of a full-length window. Eyes ever watchful of the full moon glowing. A frown etched. A silhouette swept across his line of gaze. Attention strayed from the moon, observing the dark shape of a raven. The hand fisted, a head tilted as the chin lifted. Tears pooled, flowing unmercifully. A slight trembling issued, before increasing slightly. He allowed himself to slide down, his fist still upon the cool glass. _

_Body lurched forward, as though without any energy left, hands moved to palm the window. His body shook visibly. He raised his head, his frown intensified, not caring of the tears. _

_Why does fate make us suffer? _

_ In his mental vision, he saw and watched how the moon changed. Glowing white gave way to dark crimson red. And already he could feel the changes, his hands clawing the window   
_

_Shrill sound of nails upon glass rang throughout the dark empty castle, before long, another sound followed soon after. It was haunting, bitter. It was…depressingly sad. _

_oXoXoXoXo  
_

_He watched the canopy of his bed, and yet, unseeing. The sound woke him up, and his heart wrenched. Every single night it happened. The knowledge that it would never stop was tormenting, but hearing it was cruelly torture. Unconsciously his hands fisted at the sheets.   
_

_The sound stopped, though not abruptly. Silence ensued, but that tormented cry kept ringing in his head. In that silence he slipped past the sheets with every determination to end all of this.   
_

_The silence was eerie as he padded out of his room. Along the hallway and into the huge empty ballroom. The sight of this room would always be ethereal to him. How the moonlight illuminated the entire room, glowing. And tonight, as usual, the glowing light was cast upon the kneeling body before the full-length window.   
_

_The way the body was kneeling, hands palmed the floor, it would always be imprinted within him. How the light glinted off golden locks, how the head hung almost resignedly. That would always stay with him, no matter how hard he tried to forget .  
_

_Nearer he went, he saw how the body shuddered. How the palms suddenly fisted, how the cry sounded so strangled. His feet were silent as he stood over the trembling body. Slowly his hand moved. To comfort, to give his strength. Though he knew his hand would forever be refused, but that did not stop him from reaching out.   
_

_"Will I ever be forgiven?" It was so soft, something of a faint whisper, but he could still hear it. His hand stopped, hovering just slightly above the shoulder. "Tell me, brother…" The body moved away so suddenly, he blinked once to find the other watching him. "Will my sins ever be justified?"   
_

_He watched how the other raised his hands, how those hands clenched in the end. But before him seeing how the hands had turned more claw-like. He lifted his eyes, not wanting to see the reminder of the one who had sacrificed. And his eyes now wanted to be shut. For he did not wish to remember the mixed dejection and frustration in crimson red eyes.   
_

_oXoXoXoXo  
_

_He knew his brother wanted to turn away and not look into his eyes of ungodly colour. It should not matter to him of how everyone looked at him. That was why he had allowed himself to be horded inside. But this was his brother, the person who shared the same blood as him. Knowing he would not get an answer, he made to turn away but a hand gently cradled his cheek, stopping his action. In that gentleness he turned back to find a smile upon his brother.   
_

_His own heart, though many times he had doubted he retained one, felt like it was being squeezed. The smile that his brother had was of sadness, sympathy and compassion. The hand that cradled his cheek, moved to cup his nape. In one swift movement, he felt himself being pulled towards his brother's warm body. Arms wrapped around him, he was too shocked to do anything   
_

_"If the sins you bear are too much to handle, then…" The arms tightened as his brother's voice moved closer to his ear. "Let me bear them."   
_

_The words his brother had uttered truly clenched his heart. The tears that he thought he had used up, now pooled but he was too stubborn to let them spill. Using his hands to lean away, he glanced up at his brother. He allowed himself smile, though he knew his lips were trembling, as he shook his head. "Thank you brother. But I cannot ask you of that. I will not allow you to be forsaken by others because of me. I am already grateful that you are staying here with me. Truly I am grateful…" It was now his turn to wrap his arms around his brother, hugging the torso as tightly as he possibly could. He allowed the tears to fall as his eyes closed and his chin resting upon his brother's shoulder. He could smell the metallic scent of the blood that flowed in his brother's veins. Already the fangs were showing but his restrain was even more powerful. "But I'll not let you sacrifice your humanity for me."_

_oXoXoXoXo  
_


	13. Author's Note Updates

-_ New Updates_ -

: 04/11/2007 - Sunday :

_**Recent Updates:- **_

_**A Dream That I've Chased:**  
- A brand new chapter/oneshot, Of Thousand Year Old Memories and Despair, is currently up. A special moment of when they meet once again, defying the laws of life and death. Based loosely on Charles Baudelaire poems, Spleen and Danse Macabre. Songs that transpired this new oneshot, 'Spleen' and 'Danse Macabre' by Blood._

_- Currently working on a third chapter/oneshot. Working Title: Of Endless Darkness in an Endless Night. While Wolfram in 'Of Thousands Year Old Memories and Despair' is seen alive, this is reversed in 'Of Endless Darkness in an Endless Night' whereYuuri awaits the return of his loved one from the harsh battle ensued. A moment of two souls separated by the laws of life and death, and by a thin window. Loosley based on Gackt Camui's latest single, 'Returner Yami no Shuuen '. Songs that inspired, 'Antoinette Blue' by Nana Kitade, 'Returner Yami no Shuuen ' by Gackt Camui and 'Pessimist/neo Pessimist' by Moi dix Mois._

**_The Voice of My Troubled Heart:_**  
_- Latest chapter is finally in working progress mode. Working Title: Resignation/Pessimism, Two Wolframs. Title will most probably change once chapter is finalised. Chapter will probably be up in 2-3 week's time, give or take. _

_Teaser:  
"The scent of flowers in the gardens intruded, his eyes closed as a gentle smile appeared. A soft sigh emitted as the smile disappeared and his eyes opened. The sight that greeted him was not what he had expected. He was surrounded by thousands of flowers, dried up and shriveled. The scent of the flowers still stayed with him as he watched decaying petals swayed in the cold strong current of air that swirled around him before drifting off. He followed the movement of the petals while he stood in silence. His hair got caught in the next breeze, several locks fleeting across his face. His eyes closed._

_His ears perked at the sound of sniffling. His eyes slowly opened, heavy-lidded, as he felt a presence behind him. A back touched his, and his still heavy-lidded eyes glanced down. He heard a strangled sob followed by the continued sound of sniffling as he spied a lively flower. Its petals were fresh with color. With a smile, he held out a hand towards the tiny thing. It vanished with a shimmer, and appeared cradled in his outstretched hand. The fragrance of this single flower proved to be overwhelming as he held it near, sniffing.  
_

_A single crystal tear fell with no warning."  
__  
Anyone is welcome to help me beta-read any of my stories. Or vice-versa.__  
_

_- d . e . a . d marionette -_


	14. Aching Dreams Of Hopelessness

_**Title:**__ The Voice of My Troubled Heart  
**Sub-Title:**__ Memories Locked Away  
**Chapter:**__ Aching Dreams Of Hopelessness  
**Genre:**__ Romance  
**Rating Fiction Rated:**__ K  
**Apologies from the author:**__ Nothing I say here can make up for the ultimately long wait I've caused for all to question the continuation of this story. A major (and a really major!) writer's block I've been having, until a friend 'pushes' me into writing back again. Currently, I've already start writing back Stubborn Souls and In The Darkness. author bows gravely GOMEN! _

_**The Voice of My Troubled Heart**_

_- Aching Dreams Of Hopelessness -_

_I want to warm your cold fingers with nothing more than the tears I shed for you.  
I wanted to say "I love you" but I couldn't...not until I have them from you_

* * *

The sky was clear and blue, sunny as always. But his emotion contradicted with the weather. Even with the sun glaring into his eyes, he frowned up at the sky. Arms crossed, head against the tree. His mind whirled with past images, of the king avoiding him. "It isn't fair." His whisper swept across, carried by the gentle wind. His golden locks shimmered under the brilliance of the moon, ruffling as his head tilted back. With his back against the rough bark of a tree, a knee-length booted leg rested against the tree as his hands moved to cross at chest-level. The vividness green of his eyes remarkably shone bright, the sheer radiance of his emotion imminently eminent. 

"It isn't at all fair. Why does everyone have what I want? Why can't I have what I have always desired? Why does-"

"Why does everyone has his attention?" he whispered again. "His concern, his kindness…his love."

"Two weeks of every undivided attention that I bestowed upon him, and he still ignores me! Making excuses just to get away from me!"

He felt a pull at his heart, his desire to do something. To scream at the unfairness, to cry at his unrequited love…or maybe to just…let go.

Resting his head against the rough tree bark, his eyes spied the wondrous sight of stars glittering. A sigh, so soft, was gently emitted from his lips. His eyes, half-lidded with such a desolate look, glanced away.

"No." His eyes narrowed with determination, though despair was still evident. "I made a promise to myself. Tears have no place here now."

Pushing himself off the tree, dusting away a little at his clothing, he turned away from the brilliance scene of a star-studded sky. Moments later, with him gone into the castle, a shadow detached itself from a nearby tree. Dark eyes observed the quiet figure, trudging back to the silent castle. Its lips pressed tightly into a thin grim line as it continued to watch.

* * *

"Desolo, Despero, Solitas." 

A hushed voice whispered in the dark night as a shadow hunched over a sleeping body. The flame from the candle flickered at the sudden breeze.

* * *

_He wished his eyes were deceiving him. Playing tricks on him, but they did not. His fingers pressed against the flat surface of the doors, the nails digging even deeper into the wood. With every minute passed, his heart sunk even deeper. But his eyes remained opened, hooded even. _

'_Watch…watch and remember.'_

_Comme les fleurs du mal__…  
(Like flowers of evil…)_

_He could not turn away, nor could he close his eyes. He remained rooted, watching still. _

'_Watch how he betrays you.'_

_Mon amour fatal…  
(My fatal love…)_

'_Your love means nothing to him.'_

_With the whispered words echoed fleetingly around him, his eyes finally closed. With tears glittering in the swallowing darkness._

* * *

His hands clutched the sheet of his bed, fingers digging without his awareness. He frowned, still deep in his sleep, as he turned his head away. 

"Your love means nothing to him."

Lips that were close to his ear, sneered. A shadow that covered over him lifted away.

"Sweet dreams, dear prince."

* * *

He frowned as he swayed, his hand already rising to support him against the tree. Another hand rose to press slightly at his forehead, with him shaking his head gently. 

"Wolfram-niichan, are you all right?" The worried voice of the young prince broke through the hazy pain as he lifted his head. He gave a tired smile in weak assurance, without answering.

"You're going to drop at any moment. Rest before you hurt yourself." Yuuri's voice came next, even more worried than his son. Or it could have been his imagination. With a nod, he settled under the tree, leaning his head against its trunk as his eyes closed with relief. Small hands covered his that was resting upon his lap. He turned as his eyes slowly opened, smiling softly at the worried expression Yukio had.

"You're sure you're all right?"

His gaze lifted, his heart lifted as well at the similar expression the king had. With his smile remained, he gave a small nod before closing his eyes again.

"Just feeling a little tired," he whispered, his voice softening as his breathing slowly regulated.

* * *

_Votre amour fatal…  
(Your fatal love…)_

"Wolfram!"

He awoke with a sudden, hearing harsh breathing around him. A hand tentatively touched his that clenched the cloth of his trousers, startling him to turn. The harsh breathing, he realized he was gasping as well, was his own. Two pairs of dark eyes watched him, one with anxious relief and the other teary with worry. He tried to ease his breathing, as he raised a hand to sieve through the limp golden locks around his temples before laying his brow upon the open palm.

"What…what happened?"

"You don't remember?" Hearing the disbelief in the king's voice, he shook his head in reply. "You were…thrashing…in your sleep. Mumbling almost frantically."

His eyes closed as he leaned back for a moment, swallowing. His eyes opened again and he turned towards the little prince. The king frowned at the clouded green eyes but said nothing as he released his son.

"Yukio-" Wolfram started, his hands already reaching out for the boy. At the sound of his voice, the young prince launched himself off his father's lap, arms already reaching out to circle around the knight's neck. His little body trembled viciously. "It's all right. Everything's fine," he whispered, his voice softly consoling as his hand stroked the boy's trembling back assuringly.

"Wolfram-niichan," the young boy began, his voice wobbled. With a soft smile, he laid his cheek against the prince's soft silky dark crown, his arms tightening protectively around the boy.

"I'm all right," he soothed.

"Wolfram," the king whispered and his eyes sought out Yuuri's, "do you remember what you dreamt about?" A frown came after, his dark green eyes averted to stare blankly over the king's shoulder.

"I…I don't remember."

* * *

"Something's wrong." 

"Your Highness?" At the sound of Conrad's voice, he started before turning away from the window he had been staring out blankly.

"Nothing, I was just…Conrad, can I ask something of you?" The brown-haired knight smiled before inclining his agreement for the king to continue. "Do you find Wolfram's behavior strange lately?"

"Now that you mentioned it, sire, he gets easily tired and has been taking longer naps."

"Yes, but have you seen his eyes, Conrad?"

"His eyes, Your Highness?"

He turned away from the knight, towards the window again. His eyes darkened and narrowed as he stared out. "They've become as dark as the night now."

* * *

_The scent of flowers in the gardens intruded, his eyes closed as a gentle smile appeared. A soft sigh emitted as the smile disappeared and his eyes opened. __The sight that greeted him was not what he had expected. He was surrounded by thousands of flowers, dried up and shriveled. The scent of the flowers still stayed with him as he watched decaying petals swayed in the cold strong current of air that swirled around him before drifting off. He followed the movement of the petals while he stood in silence. His hair got caught in the next breeze, several locks fleeting across his face. His eyes closed._

_His ears perked at the sound of sniffling. His eyes slowly opened, heavy-lidded, as he felt a presence behind him. A back touched his, and his still heavy-lidded eyes glanced down. He heard a strangled sob followed by the continued sound of sniffling as he spied a lively flower. Its petals were fresh with color. With a smile, he held out a hand towards the tiny thing. It vanished with a shimmer, and appeared cradled in his outstretched hand. The fragrance of this single flower proved to be overwhelming as he held it near, sniffing. _

_A single crystal tear fell with no warning. _

"_Why," a hoarse voice behind him whispered. "Why do you have to be so selfless?" _

"_I-" he began. _

"_Why are you so different from eight years ago? Why won't you fight? Why won't you demand your right? Why?" the voice grew soft as the sniffles grew a little louder. Throughout the ranting, he did nothing but watched the flower twirled in between his fingers. "Why won't he love me?" _

"_You have to understand. Time changes, people change, I've changed. I've done some growing up during those eight long years, and I understand that not everything is about me." His eyes closed as he spoke, the flower still twirling in his hand. "And to what right do I have to demand when I've long cast that right away. I am tired of fighting, fighting for his attention. To have him by my side again is good enough for me. But," the flower stopped twirling, "I am still you. I do still have those urges…to scream out the injustice, to scream out my pain." The presence behind him disappeared, as did the sniffling._

"_Why," he frowned as he stared at the still flower, "Am I not good enough for him? Does he consider me an extra baggage? A tool he can use to get out of that marriage he's got himself in?" His hand clenched into a fist unconsciously as he frowned. "But even so," he whispered as his eyes watched his fingers slowly opened up, revealing the crushed flower inside, "I am not strong enough to stay away from him." Another current of air came by, lifting the pieces of the crushed flower away. He lifted his head and watched on as the tiny petals, once vividly blue, changed like the other decaying ones. His eyes caught sight of a figure quite familiar to him standing slightly before him. A smile softened his visage as he made his way towards the lone individual. _

"_Just know that I am still me. The same as before, before eight years happened. There is no way I can escape from my past, and from who I used to be. So rest assure that I am still holding on to the hope that someday-" his hand brushed aside stray golden locks that still glowed no matter what, "that someday he will return the affection that we have for him." His eyes, darkened green, met with a pair of youthful teary green. A hiccup issued as a hand crept up to rub away the tears. _

"_But if he does not-"_

"_Then we will destroy whatever hope we have and make life anew." His arms came around the lithe body of the figure, hugging the person close to him. His eyes closed as he laid his cheek against the crown of the golden hair. A pair reciprocated back the gesture, though hesitantly at first. And as he hugged his own self from eight years before, he could feel the fire burning around them. Destroying the field of decayed flowers. Their crushed dreams. _

His eyes fluttered open, dark as black. He was motionless as he stared up, vaguely hearing the sounds around him.

* * *

_"__Desolo, Despero, Solitas."_

_"__Be alone, time for you to be forsaken and feel abandoned." She smiled as she whispered into his ear, slender locks of gold moved with each breath she took. Her eyes glittered maliciously in the darkness as she stood beside the lithe body. "Time for you to show your love for him, my dear prince, isn't that what you've wanted to do?"_

_"…__Yes," the sleepy drone of the golden-haired knight made her giggle as she took hold of his hand, leading him gently out of the castle. _

_"__Then let us do that."_

* * *

The sound of his footsteps echoed in the empty hallway as he tried unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn. It was one heck of a day, trying to figure out the problem with Wolfram. 

"Wolfram," he whispered with a stop as he stood listlessly, looking down. "What's wrong with you?" His eyes narrowed at his unanswered question when a sound caught his attention. With a turn of his head, he heard it again. Someone was whispering. Curious, he found himself standing before an open hallway window arch. His eyes darkened at the sight of his estranged wife gleefully leading an unnamed knight by the hand. He watched on as the two turned a corner, towards the stables, when his eyes widened with surprise as he found himself staring at the profile of the very person he was thinking of not too long ago. "Wolfram?"

* * *

"Come, my dear prince, let us run away," she cackled as she was hoisted up upon a saddled horse. "Far from this land, and away from the pain this country has brought upon you." Her eyes narrowed as she frowned, her hands tightening on the reins. "He will finally feel the revenge I have for him." Her smiled turned sinister, close to becoming a sneer, as she watched Wolfram steered his white stallion over to her side. 

"Marlienne!"

Her eyes glittered madly at the sound of her name uttered by the king and she turned her horse around.

"Your Highness," she greeted formally. "Yuuri, dear," she purred, laughing inwardly at his narrowed eyes.

"What do you think you're doing with Wolfram? Get away from him."

At his outburst she laughed. "Get away? From this lovely prince?" she tittered as her hand grasped hold of the knight's chin, slowly turning his face towards hers. She saw, out of the corner of the knight's face, the king's eyes darkened and narrowed even more if it was possible. "He is such a specimen, don't you think Yuuri dear? Think of all the beautiful children he'll have."

"I mean it, Marlienne."

She seemed to ignore him but her grin spoke differently. "Darling, have you forgotten how I have always been?" she drawled as she glanced at the king once more. "I yearn for men as beautiful as this." Her eyes hardened and her sneering smile disappeared, the teasing tone disappeared entirely. "You will regret the day you banished me to that appalling place.

Come, my dear beautiful prince, show this foolish king what it means to really lose the one who showed him love."

* * *

_I want to say "Thank you", and I will...because it's "Goodbye forever".  
And I will be born again to be someone else, and wish for these painful memories to be nothing more...__ than surreal dreams._

* * *


	15. Separation and Lost

_**Title:**__ The Voice of My Troubled Heart  
**Sub-Title:**__ Memories Locked Away  
**Chapter:**__ Separation and Lost  
**Genre:**__ Romance  
**Rating Fiction Rated:**__ K+  
**Apologies from the author:**__ In The Darkness is under temporary hiatus, until I finish The Voice Of My Troubled Heart and Stubborn Souls.  
__**Comments from the author:**  
A new very short sort-of one-shot will up soon as well. Its working title at the moment, Through The Art of Loving/Seduction. This one-shot, might or might not be a new story. _

_Continuation of The Voice of My Troubled Heart will be in a new story format with the working title; To You, I Finally Thee Wed - To You, I Concede._

_**The Voice of My Troubled Heart  
**- Separation and Lost -_

_I want to warm your cold fingers with nothing more than the tears I shed for you.  
I wanted to say "I love you" but I couldn't...not until I have them from you_

* * *

"Come, my dear beautiful prince, show this foolish king what it means to really lose the one who showed him love."

Hearing her, he snapped the reins and spurred his stallion towards the frozen king, releasing the reins as he drew his sword. The blade glittered ominously under the moon, raised to slash.

* * *

His eyes never strayed from the body that was coming fast towards him. His hands fisted and trembled at his sides, desperately willing the urge to react instinctively away.

"Say goodbye, darling husband," she purred and cackled. The sword swung…

"Yuuri!"

…and stopped in mid-swing, just a breath of space from the king's flesh. In that moment, he lifted his head. The darkness in his knight's eyes frightened him somehow, it had already taken over the vivid greenness, swirling and circling. He frowned.

"Wolfram!"

Perplexed, he watched the knight returned to his wife's side, never questioning. Her sinister smile returned as she watched him frowned.

"Say goodbye, Yuuri dear," She observed the dark glance that was upon her, and nearly shivered at the intense stare. She had almost forgotten how intense that mere glance had been. "This is where we depart, isn't that right Wolfram?" Understanding crept fast into the widening dark eyes.

"Mar-"

"This is the last time you'll ever see him again. Ever."

"Don't, Marlienne. Don't you dare."

She laughed at the sudden pleading. "Say goodbye to the king, beautiful prince."

"Goodbye Your Highness."

* * *

He huddled in the darkness, eyes forlornly staring ahead.

_'He doesn't appreciate the love you have for him.'_

His head dipped a little, chin gently resting atop his knees as he brought them closer to him. His hands circled around them.

_'He loves another, never you. You, who had accepted him with nothing more than open arms even if you were reluctant to do so.'_

His forehead rested atop his knees now, his hands hugging them more tightly. "He had never cared for me," he whispered.

_'Yes, he didn't even go after you eight years ago.'_

The reminder had him trembling slightly, his hands bringing his legs even closer to him.

_'Instead, he married someone else while you were alone in your unrequited love.'_

A sound, almost like a whimper, escaped him. "He had never loved me," he gasped brokenly. "He has never cared for me." His eyes closed shut tight, several tears escaping like shattered diamonds. The pain he felt now, the pain he knew before eight years ago, seared through his heart.

"He's never loved me…and never will."

* * *

"Goodbye Your Highness."

His eyes widened upon hearing the monotonous voice and words. His legs, frozen before, moved without warning. Somehow he could not handle the parting words, however emotionless they sound. He forced himself to move faster, seeing the knight turned his horse away and towards the opened gates.

"Wolfram!"

He took a step forward, intended to pursue the knight. Noise that suspiciously sounded like chains pierced through the night, and moments later he found himself unable to move. He felt his hands and legs bounded, and found this to be true. A loud cackle of her laughter reached his ears even when he could no longer see them.

"Don't worry, husband mine. I'll be sure to take real good care of your precious knight. To me…this knight is worth much more."

"Let me go!"

"Your Highness!"

"Stay out of it, Conrad! I have to go!"

"Your Highness, they're long gone by now. We have to think of another way to get Lord Bielefeld back."

"Then think if you must! I'm still going! I can catch them if you'll just let me go!"

"Think rationally, Yuuri!"

His strength escaped him as he fell to the floor, the feeling of uselessness and hopelessness overwhelming. His vision blurred, the images of everyone's concerned faces distorted.

"Yuuri!"

"Your Highness!"

"I failed him," he murmured, unaware of the tears silently flowing."I failed him again. I'm useless as a king, as a friend…and as his husband."

"No, Yuuri. You're not."

"Yes, I am. I let her take him away from me."

"You tried your best."

"It's not enough."

"Perhaps it is the Original King's will that Lord Bielefeld be taken. Perhaps the king has good reasons for all this to have happened."

"The Original…" his words trailed, his dark glassy eyes staring at one worried face to another. His features suddenly hardened, the frown marring turned even harsher. With strengthened force, he brought himself to his feet before moving with crisp motions. The others trailed after him, calling his name urgently. But he paid no attention to them. Coming to a stop, he stared rather harshly at the perfect image behind the glass frame. Hands clenched and fisted tightly at his sides, and with no warning, those hands slammed hard at the walls at the side of the frame.

"Your Highness…" He thought the voice sounded much like Gunter, but his head remained bowed.

"Please-" his whisper started low and, almost silent. His head rose to seek out the pair of smirking blue eyes in shocking helplessness. He took a step back, slowly knelt and bowed fully to the painting.

"Your Highness!"

"Please."

* * *

_I wish I could live with memories of the past._

"_Never forget me."_

* * *


End file.
